Syntax error

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A normal, happy windows user is simply requesting to go to uncyclopedia.org, but he gets makes a simple spelling mistake, and he gets a SYNTAX ERROR. From there, it goes downhill, with many viruses being un-intentionally found and the user accidentally deletes some of his files and generally fucks-up his computer, all because of one simple spelling mistake.

FATAL ERROR

error in line 40129: Unknown variable:unCyc

Cannot compare arguments.

PLEASE RESTART YOUR COMPUTER AND TRY AGAIN.

[email protected]:~$ reset

bash: reset: command not found

[email protected]:~$ tset

bash: tset: is not a word, you idiot.

[email protected]:~$ format page to enable wordwrap

Page formatted. This page does not exist. Have a nice day.

[email protected]:~$ exit

Hard disk ejected.

PRIMARY DISK READ ERROR.

[email protected]:~$ ls

bash: ls: command not found

[email protected]:~$ man ls

Error: obvious pun not found.

[email protected]:~$ cd /usr/corn

Error: Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!

[email protected]:~$ solve problem

Attempting to solve problem...

Uncyclux is now e-mailing pornography to everyone you know.

Have a nice day.

[email protected]:~$ glados

Hello, and welcome to the Uncyclopedia Science Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in Category:AGH MY EYES has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been blanked and we are now ready to reformat Wikipedia proper.

[email protected]:~$ antivirus

Searching for viruses...

FLAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR: AMOUNT OF VIRUSES EXCEEDING HARD DRIVE SPACE. 538,922,906 VIRUSES FOUND. A NEW RECORD!

Computer over. Virus = Very Yes.

[email protected]:~$ delete viruses

All viruses deleted forever.


Just kidding.

[email protected]:~$ uninstall

Error: Your computer is busy.

[email protected]:~$ exit

Error: Your computer is still busy.

[email protected]:~$ cancel

Fatal Error: All files on Hard drive have been permenantly deleted.

DANGER: Your computer has detected 19 Trojan viruses

[email protected]:~$ send to recycle bin

Error: Recyclebin.exe can not be found

[email protected]:~$ shit

bash: shit: command not found

[email protected]:~$ replace "C:\Uncyclopedia\Main Page" with http://sackroll.com

YOU GOT SACK ROLLED

[email protected]:~$ open antivirus

Error: Edgarware has been deleted.

Failed to drop train on em.

[email protected]:~$ challenge viruses

Are you asking for a CHALLEEEEEENGE?!

Virus' Reply: Go delete yourself.

[email protected]:~$ help!!

Error: 'help!!' can not be found

Update: Critical amount of space left on hard drive

Would you like to delete files? [Y]/[N]?

[email protected]:~$ Y

Error: (0) files found.

Bigger Error: (538,922,933) viruses found. A NEW RECORD!

[email protected]:~$ apt-get install Edgarware

Somehow installing without using internet or being root...please wait...this may take a few minutes

Update: Edgarware succesfully installed

Error: 'Edgarware' has been deleted...noob

[email protected]:~$ apt-get install Edgarware

Error: 'Edgarware' has been killed by a train. oh the irony

[email protected]:~$ goto article "C:\Uncyclopedia\Category:AGH MY EYES\Bat Fuck Insane"

Sorry, but article Bat Fuck Insane is not a member of Category:AGH MY EYES.

[email protected]:~$ goto article "C:\Uncyclopedia\Category:AGH MY EYES\3-D article"

The display setttings of this article prevent the usage of article 3-D article.

[email protected]:~$ goto article "C:\Uncyclopedia\Category:Rewrite\ Template:Rewrite#Character=ermey"

Error: Template:Rewrite is not in the article namespace.

Error: Parameter "#Character=ermey" was huffed.

[email protected]:~$ reboot

bash: reboot: command not found

Uh oh, Spaghetti-Os!

[email protected]:~$ ent_create_portal_weight_box; fire command !skin type=1

The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in Three. Two. One.

SYSTEM ERROR: WEIGHTED_COMPANION_CUBE.APERTURE HAS BEEN INCINERATED.

You euthanized your Weighted Uncyclopedia Cube faster than any Wikipedian on record. Well done.

[email protected]:~$ rescue companion cube

To save your cube, please enter the following string at the prompt: 1/0

[email protected]:~$ 1/0


Uncyclopedia has crashed! ------------------------- Uncyclopedia has stopped caring because it detected a stupid. --- BEGIN ERROR REPORT asdf8327 --- Generated %current_edit_time% Uncyclux version: 34.69 "Unintelligible Uranus" java.lang.DivideByZeroException: you fucking moron at java.lang.StringBuilder.toString(JAVA_CORE) at net.uncyclux.client.Editor.getContents(Editor.java:234) at net.uncyclux.server.wiki.SYNTAX_ERROR.pagesrc(SYNTAX_ERROR.txt:179) at net.uncyclux.server.MediaWiki.someDerpInHere(MediaWiki.html:176476276472)


[email protected]:~$ sudo make me awesome

Error: user [email protected] is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

make: could not execute. You are already stupid.

[email protected]:~$ solve problem

FAIL.

[email protected]:~$ kill viruses

You rush at them with a Reformat Hammer. Roll for attack.

[email protected]:~$ !roll 1d20

1. Well, that's the last daylight dicebot.exe will ever see.

You missed everything in the entire computer.

[email protected]:~$ Fate Manipulation reroll

This isn't Darths & Droids.

[email protected]:~$ !roll 1d20 Force Suggestion

No.

[email protected]:~$ !roll 3d$20 Bribe the GM

How do you roll a $20 bill? Show me an origami blueprint for turning a $20 bill into a d20 and you win The Game.

[email protected]:~$ slap computer for mentioning Candle[REDACTED]

It's not "Candle[REDACTED]", it's CandIejack. Now if you'll excuse me, I have rope to buy. [email protected]:~$ remind computer that the I/L trick only works in Arial font

...

...

...

Error: user not found.

[email protected]:~$ make me a sammich

No.

[email protected]:~$ sudo make me a sammich

Error: user [email protected] is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

However, I did bake you a pie.

[email protected]:~$ what flavor?

PIE FLAVOR.

[email protected]:~$ help

This error message makes perfect sense. Something must be wrong.

[email protected]:~$ Excecute HELP!!!!!!!

HELP!!!!!!!.exe does not exist.

[email protected]:~$ clear

Pre-existing page contents are write-protected.

[email protected]:~$ sudo clear

Error: user [email protected] is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

[email protected]:~$ cp ~/ /etc/sudoers

Are you really... That's not how bash works!

[email protected]:~$ sudo adduser linuxnoob admin

Error: user [email protected] is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported. Again.

Error: user [email protected] is in cannotbetrustedwithadminaccess

[email protected]:~$ exec bullshit.cpp

Must compile code before executing.

[email protected]:~$ g++ bullshit.cpp -Wall

Compiler crashed into a wall and exploded.

[email protected]:~$ gratuitous linebreaks


[email protected]:~$ cd /etc/Steam/SteamApps

[email protected]:~/etc/Steam/SteamApps$ exec devconsole

Exiting bash...

Launching Half-Life 2...

Opening console.

] ent_create npc_grue ] ent_create npc_headcrab ] mat_fullbright 0 It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a Gruecrab. ] give weapon_physcannon Exsqueeze me? ] sv_cheats 1 ] give weapon_physcannon That's better. ] look at gruecrab What is "at"? You can't look at "at". ] look gruecrab You are about one command from being eaten. ] ent_fire !picker ragdoll Error: npc_gruecrab command "ragdoll" does not exist. You have been eaten by a Gruecrab. Restart, Restore, or Fail? ] fail Command not recognized. Piping input out of program...

Closing HL2... Loading bash... Program command output detected: [email protected]:~$ fail

WikiTeX: latex reported a failure, namely: This is pdfeTeX, Version 3.141592-1.21a-2.2 (Web2C 7.5.4) entering extended mode (./30844afc37db17139dfe3c22b1028 LaTeX2e <2003/12/01> Babel and hyphenation patterns for american, french, german, ngerman, bahasa, basque, bulgarian, catalan, croatian, czech, danish, dutch, esperanto, estonian, finnish, greek, icelandic, irish, italian, japanese, latin, magyar, norsk, polish, portuges, romanian, russian, serbian, slovak, slovene, spanish, swedish, turkish, ukrainian, nohyphenation, bat fuck insane loaded. (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/base/article.cls Document Class: article 2004/02/16 v1.4f Standard LaTeX document class (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/base/size10.clo)) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsfonts/amssymb.sty (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsfonts/amsfonts.sty)) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsmath/amsmath.sty For additional information on amsmath, use the `?' option. (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsmath/amstext.sty (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsmath/amsgen.sty)) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsmath/amsbsy.sty) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsmath/amsopn.sty)) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsmath/amscd.sty) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/concmath/concmath.sty) (./30844afc37db17139dfe3c22b1028.aux) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/concmath/ot1ccr.fd) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/concmath/omlccm.fd) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/concmath/omsccsy.fd) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/concmath/omxccex.fd) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsfonts/umsa.fd) (/usr/share/texmf/tex/latex/amsfonts/umsb.fd) Package amsmath Warning: Foreign command \over; (amsmath) \frac or \genfrac should be used instead (amsmath) on input line 5. ! Missing } inserted. } l.5 ...{9 + 6h + h^2 - 9\over{h} = \end{equation*} [1] (./30844afc37db17139dfe3c22b1028.aux) ) (see the transcript file for additional information) Output written on 30844afc37db17139dfe3c22b1028.dvi (1 page, 536 bytes). Transcript written on 30844afc37db17139dfe3c22b1028.log. <InSovietComputerSyntaxburnsyou> (Seecode4815162342forhelp)

[email protected]:~$ exec logic

Error: file logic.txt not found at [email protected]/usr

[email protected]:~$ blah

Command not recognized

[email protected]:~$ man blah

You have a sick mind.

[email protected]:~$ cd lolhax

Error: folder 'lolhax' not found

[email protected]:~$ mkdir lolhax

[email protected]:~$ cd lolhax

[email protected]:~/lolhax$ git clone [email protected]:MojangAB/Minecraft.git

Enter passphrase for ~/.ssh/id_rsa: Cloning into '/Minecraft/'...

Remote connection destroyed by a creeper.

[email protected]:~$ eat mushroom

Don't eat the mushroom!!

[email protected]:~$ invert gravity

Error: command does not work outside of Dimension VVVVVV

[email protected]:~$ sudo make me a sammich

Error: uncyclo-laptop is getting tired of this. Make your own damn sandwich. Incident not reported, [email protected] has stopped caring.

[email protected]:~$ end page

And the Compy... just peed your carpet. Have a nice day.


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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to §Ŷ/\/πΔχ εŖ®☹Ř.

[[Category:<Error: Category Not Found> ]]