Syria
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| ||||
| National motto: We are one! | ||||
| Official languages | Shami Arabic (we add "ay" at the end of each word; for example: Taboulay) | |||
| Capital | Damascus | |||
| Area - Total | 71,479.23432 km² | |||
| Population - Total | 28717 million (2008)[1] | |||
| Independence | From USA 12 March 2007 From Vichy France 17 July 1997 | |||
Contents |
[edit] Syria
Syria, known to Jews and Israelites as "our big duffer zone," is a country that is known to Americans only for its Humus. After receiving its independence from France, it vowed never to get in an international dispute ever again. This was tried when Israel, in other words America, took land from Syria and called it a "Fluffer zone." Syrians tried to keep their cool, until Israel did something really fucked up---they started building cities on their new "guffer zone". President Hafez Osama Hussein Al-Qaidassad summed up his anger and confusion in this extremely well known and many-times quoted speech:
"What the hell?"
After this, Syria and fed-up Egypt came together in what is known as the Syrian-Egyptian Ghoul Rush of 1973. The "winner" of this war is still disputed. Gold medals went first to Egypt but soon after the ceremony Egyptian soldiers admitted that they hadn't applied all the strict guidelines and rules of war and forfeited their medals to the Syrians who celebrated their victory until last Thursday.
[edit] Government and Politics
Syria's government is based on an ingenious philosophy that Bashar Al-Assad calls, "shut up and we wont bother you." This means that, if the people of Syria don't comment badly about the President, you will be left alone. Therefore, no one knows what the other thinks about the government. This has been proven to be even more effective than communism.
Syria's political leaders are chosen by The Body Hair Institute of Syria. Usually highest political positions go to persons with the thickest unibrows. Baldness is forbidden in Syria and considered as sin in their pagan beliefs.
Syrians trust strongly their government and for that reason they donate their pets to army use because men in Syria rather play hide and seek than fire weapons.
[edit] Voting
The voting process in Syria is based on famous mathematician U.R. Azz's thoughts. Every man is given randomly a number between 1-10000 and the number you get determines how many times a person can vote. Usually the rare wealthy gets the highest numbers but there's no injustice in the system. Az'(89.0423/5A/6B/7C)^4.4^A/7C formula proves it.
[edit] Economy
Most of Syria's imports are Quarans.
Exports: Hummus.
That's all you need to know. I think Bashar is watching from my window...
Because of the lack of any other than biblical knowledge. Syrians trust monopolies of foreign nations who operate ruthlessly in Syria's socioeconomic grounds. Before their current political outline Syria tried Jesus's economical thoughts such as creating wine from water but after only Russian convenience stores were sloppy enough to not to test their products before selling them Syrians had to compromise.
[edit] Army
By heart, the Syrian Army is well, brave, and ready, but after the Soviet Union stopped giving them supplies, Syria's main weapon was Mentos and Diet Coke mixed in a Fanta bottle. However, even under these circumstances, they were still able to size up to Israel (in other words, 99% America, 1% Israel.)
[edit] References
- ↑ Syria: Country profile http://www.emro.who.int/syria/syriacountryprofile.htm The very first sentence.
| Middle East Countries |
| Bahrain | Cyprus | Egypt | Gaza Strip | Iraq | Iran | Israel | Jordan | Kuwait | Lebanon | Oman | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen |
