System Idle Process

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System Idle Process is the manifest form of the WSEFS (Windows Security Embedded Failure System) virus. Some experts believe this virus may infect up to 97% of all Windows computers. Many hackers will try and fool others into believing that the process doesn't do anything and is harmless or even necessary.

Origin and History[edit]

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about System Idle Process.
  • 1982: Linus Torvalds is fired by Bill Gates for drinking on the job and stealing pens.
  • 1982: (later that day) Linus leaves the US and takes up residence in the mountains of Norway.
  • 1984: Virus is released after being secretly bundled with the Windows startup sound file.
  • 1988: The System Idle Process virus causes an oil tanker to capsize, hackers "Crash Override" and "Zero Cool" are blamed.
  • 1990: Linus successfully hacks the Gibson.
  • 1998: Virus rapidly spreads to all Windows Memphis computers causing severe system instability and compatibility problems.

Effects[edit]

Most notably, the process eats up all available processing time. Some speculate that in all networked computers the process creates a distributed virtual supercomputer controlled by Skynet. This excessive processor use causes a variety of problems on different versions of Windows.

  • Windows 3.1: Sometimes shows as DOSIDLE.EXE. Causes erratic mouse movement, slower system performance and Y2K failures.
  • Windows 95: Causes BSoD and GPF errors. Computer will sometimes fail to start or shut down.
  • Windows 98: Slow system performance. Interferes with Ethernet card. Can corrupt drivers leading to other problems as well.
  • Windows XP: Can reformat hard drive into NTFS format erasing all data. Causes playback problems with DRM files you aren't licensed for. Changes around how your start menu is set up. Invokes a bandwidth limit of 20%.
  • Windows Vista: Can reformat hard drive into NTFS format erasing all data (after you boredly click Allow without meaning to). Causes severe playback problems with DRM files you aren't licensed for, or in case the back lights of the licensor's car aren't visible anymore, or the sound card driver hasn't been ported yet. Changes the whole UI (if you click Cancel, it changes one way, if Allow, it changes the other way). Invokes a bandwidth limit of 14%, but looks very nice.

Removal[edit]

Contact Microsoft Technical Support for removal instructions.