Talk:Australia/Archive 1

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I thought "The sexy redhead from Garbage" was Scottish, or is that the gag? --Commander Jameson 09:40, 28 Jul 2005 (UTC)

Contents 1 Garbage 2 Move to West Island 3 West Island indeed! 4 Point Scoring 5 FFS, fix the formatting when you've edited 6 Re-formatted: Australia 7 Geography 8 Super Mega Ultra Convict Island-san 9 "Table of Crocodiles Famous Australians" 10 Eddie Maguire, Paul Hogan, Rolf Harris and Shane Warne 11 The "Famous Australians" list again

[edit] Garbage

I think the red head from Garbage was born in the Australian embassy in Scotland.

[edit] Move to West Island

Despite the flagrant POV lies and deceptions throughout this article, Australia is rightly known as the West Island of New Zealand. The article should be moved to reflect that fact. Gracefool 05:15, 21 Sep 2005 (EDT)

[edit] West Island indeed!

You are kidding, aren't you? Can't you see the accurate, perfectly to scale map located on the page? Why would anyone assume we had anything to do with subordination to two such tiny little dots of land in the middle of our ocean?

[edit] Point Scoring

There's just a little too much juvenile point-scoring about Australia/New Zealand relations creeping in here. I suggest this may be relocated to a new entry for that topic - this page is called Australia, not New Zealand, and this type of entry invites similar bad-humoured point-scoring. Splaka, I think you may reverted to such a version. The version just before by 218.101.80.244 eliminates more of this sort of stuff.

All I did with the revert was undo this insignificant addition. You can revert to a better (or the best) version if you want. Go to the history, click the date of the good version, click [edit], put in a summary like 'reverting to good version', and [save]. --Splaka 10:14, 1 Dec 2005 (UTC)

[edit] FFS, fix the formatting when you've edited

If you make changes to this page can you make sure the text box doesn't push the text a mile down the page. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Sure, although that's not a text box I created - we should perhaps combine two of the boxes to fix that problem. -neca 10:58, 3 Dec 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Re-formatted: Australia

G'day, mates! I spent some time to re-format the whole article. The pattern is now more like what they have in wikipedia.org, but the jokes remain pretty much the same. Here are some highlights of the new changes:

• Both of the old tables have been eliminated and fused into one. You can edit the new table here.
• As I have mentioned the jokes in the article remain as the same as before. However, most of them have been reallocated to make viewing easier.
• Some sections and subsections have been renamed/removed.
• New sections and subsections have been added.
• Lists of assorted items have been re-formatted.
• Two new templates ("Goodfaith"/"Crimefaith) are now available for those who want to make fun of the new anti-sedition laws. Use at your own risk!!!! :)
• I have made a new article called "WorkChoices". The new "Australia" article links to it.

-- by Col.swordman, a non-ozzie

er, those new lists ,as separate lines, make the page enormous... -neca 09:51, 8 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Well... I was trying to make things look a bit neater and that was the best I could come up with. The original "lists" were not even lists - they were just slabs of things with no order of any sort, and they would look quite unpleasant in the new format if I just left them as what they were. Anyway, if you have any better idea, just click on the edit tab and work on it. - Col.swordman

...nope, reduced the Things that will Kill You list to run across the page: getting boringly long! And too many dud cities --neca 10:26, 18 February 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Geography

http://www.wherethebloodyhellareyou.com/

"She's been on a strict Plankton diet put on her best swimsuit and all she needs is someone to play with"

Excuse me if I'm blunt, but that's just too lame even to be on an internet ad banner. I have come up with something more realistic and straight forward, and instead of some hidious-looking sea creature, we have Lara Bingle making appearance again while holding a topless photo of hers. Now we are pround to go around and ask everyone where the bloody hell they are! :D

Story aside:

We have got the "Where the bloody hell are you" spoof and Lara Bingle topless photo. So, where the bloody hell are the lawsuits? :D

• Lara to sue
• Tourism spoof not bloody funny

--Col.Swordman

[edit] Super Mega Ultra Convict Island-san

It's good to see old jokes of mine still going after a while. Super convict island was mine. Same with OZ. Just gotta say thanks.

Anyway, this page is slowly improving, it's on it's way.

210.49.181.238 01:43, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

[edit] "Table of Crocodiles Famous Australians"

There are a few things I would like to clarify here as regards the "Famous Australians" list:

1. Every sentence in the "Famous for" column starts with the phrase "Famous for" - make sure you don't stuff up the language.
2. I started the list with Crocodile Dundee because he was the centre of the joke. If you look at the "a'Straiya" template carefully then you will realise whoever receives the title "Crocodile" is also an "international hero".
3. So if you really want to make someone (or something) "Crocodile" then you will have to ask yourself a few questions:

1. Does your "Famous Australian" have an Australian origin?
2. Does he/she have any international significance? (So Bert Newton obviously was not really a "Crocodile", but Fairy Godmother forced me to name him so. Hee... Hee...)
3. Is he/she famous? (Keep in mind the vanity policy here.)

The Brian Peppers joke isn't really too bad (although it is totally random) but a weird-looking American escapee of an Ohio prison is just hardly a "Crocodile" - even with a souvenir hat.

(Sometimes people add jokes to an article at the expense of what has been there. This is what the folks here call "random humor", and it's BAD. So, if you want to add what you consider "funny" in an article, make sure it lines up with the rest of the stuff.)

Info on Brian Peppers: http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/peppers.asp

--Colonel Swordman 08:46, 19 May 2006 (UTC)

The "Internation Hero" is actually Rolf Harris, not Paul Hogan. (Heck, I was the one who built the template - isn't that the funniest fact of all?) Anyway, Crocodile Dundee is the centre of the joke, and if you want to call someone (or something) "Crocodile", make sure he/she(/it) is "Crocodile" enough.

Colonel Swordman 09:18, 19 May 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Eddie Maguire, Paul Hogan, Rolf Harris and Shane Warne

I made a few changes in the article:

• Rolf Harris was replaced by Paul Hogan as "International Hero" for the sake of the "Famous Australians" joke.
• Eddie Maguire was removed from the article. (A random TV host is hardly the "ultimate god".)

I kept Shane Warne, though, as the national hero - not bad to have a lousy cricket player given such a status. :)

For those who don't know the three guys:

• Eddie Maguire - one of the hosts of Channel 9's "The Footy Show"
• Paul Hogan - the "Dundee"
• Rolf Harris - a famous Australian artist. He has recently painted a potrait for Queen Elizabeth II.
• Shane Warne - an Australian cricketer

--Colonel Swordman 10:47, 19 May 2006 (UTC)

[edit] The "Famous Australians" list again

| Crocodile Deearne Mortell| being completely devoid of stupidness

I did a search for "Deearne Mortell" in altavista.com and that's all I could find: http://www.templestowec.vic.edu.au/newsletters/142004.pdf. The list really seems to be a magnet to random humour and vanity.

--Colonel Swordman 12:46, 19 May 2006 (UTC)