Talk:San Francisco, California

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

While funny to an extent, there seems to be a lot of homophobia on this page. Perhaps it should be toned down. It also seems to go off on a lot of tangents rather than focusing on the city itself.


agree this page is crap! if one was to delete everything non-funny on this page, there would be 5 words left. vote to destroy it and start from square one.

This page has obviously been heavily edited by Southern California bros and/or residents of Columbus, Ohio. Actual residents of San Francisco may be able to provide some realistic humor, however. Example: the bit about all the lesbians moving to Oakland.

Three things this page needs...[edit]

Since there have been dozens of contributors, I'd like to plea for someone to add:

  • Pictures. The only one is my foggy bridge pic, and the joke sucks.
  • Better jokes in the sidebar, especially for Currency and Opening hours, so newbies don't keep breaking the table formatting or hosing the whole page layout trying to replace what's there.
  • A shorter version of the Transportation section so you don't have to read 4 paragraphs of dull prose (mostly mine) for 3 decent jokes. --Falcotron 23:41, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

Perhaps having a template for the sidebar would minimize the instances of formatting problems. --Ogopogo 23:44, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

Great idea. I've never written a template before; do you think it would be easier to rip apart Wikipedia's monster Infobox City template, or write something from scratch? Better jokes would still be nice, of course. --Falcotron 23:49, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
The wikipedia article on San Francisco doesn't have an infobox. It simply has code. What I had in mind when I posted my earlier post was to have a template like User:Armando:Timor Infobox Template that's placed on the East Timor article on uncyc. --Ogopogo 23:58, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Then what's this: { { Infobox City |official_name = San Francisco, California ...? But I'll look at the East Timor article; I'm sure your template isn't as hairy. --Falcotron 00:20, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
OK, I went overboard. My very first template, chock full of fancy parameters and stuff: User:Falcotron/Template:Infobox City and this page edited to use it: User:Falcotron/Infotest. This way, people can change whatever they want without breaking the table. And it can be used for other cities; it should be pretty obvious how to add new columns as needed. I'm sure there are bugs, though. --Falcotron 01:31, 17 August 2006 (UTC)

And with that...[edit]

Now all we need is a template that lets people add new currencies to a list and randomly rotates through the 3500 different jokes people have typed in. --Falcotron 02:24, 17 August 2006 (UTC)

One could always create a template called Template:SF Currency and stick that in the SF article. The template could be coded like Template:Fortune, for example. All the various currency names would be in the Template:Fortune rather than in the Sf article itself. --Ogopogo 02:28, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
One could, but I am going home for the day; I've done enough wikicoding for now. --Falcotron 02:38, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
I have a bad feeling about it, but done. Great job cleaning up the page, Falcotron. --Jclee 03:18, 22 August 2006 (UTC)
Thanks, and thanks. It was actually a mostly facetious suggestion, but maybe it will do some good. People who just want to add a silly currency joke can go modify a completely separate page and not only will we not lose the existing jokes, the infobox won't get broken. On the other hand, maybe it'll just get really stupid. We'll see. Anyway, if you're really good with wiki templates, do you want to take a look at Template:Infobox City? It works on real city pages no matter how I stress it, and it works with Wikipedia's template-listing meta-templates, but it doesn't work right with tplist here. Anyway, again, thanks. --Falcotron 05:23, 22 August 2006 (UTC)
I'm no expert on templates (you've just seen my first), but I'm OK at reading documentation, so I took a stab at it, and I think I've fixed it. Further details on the talk page of the template. --Jclee 02:48, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

Anonymous edits[edit]

At least four different anonymous IPs have made roughly the same edits recently, adding random humor, grammatical and spelling errors, and different ways of breaking the flow of the article.

But at least this time they didn't break the formatting of the infobox (hey, the template worked!) or ruin existing links, so I'm not going to revert the whole thing. Instead, I'm going to go through the changes one by one, and explain my reasoning.

  • Keep the deletion of the Oscar Wilde quote.
  • Revert Nickname: San Fransicko: it's obvious and not funny. Yes, "Frisco" is just as obvious, but it's at least mildly funny (because people in SF do actually get pissed off about it).
  • Keep Mayor: Gavin Newsom. It's not particularly funny, being the truth, but I never got the old Mayor: E-40 joke anyway.
  • Reluctantly keep Anthem: "It's Raining Men". "Sandstorm" is much funnier, because it's a huge gay club hit but straight non-clubber types don't know that--as opposed to "It's Raining Men," which is not a huge gay club hit, but straight non-clubber types think it is. But, for the same reason, maybe more people will find "It's Raining Men" funny.
  • Keep Robert Mugabe in the People section. It's completely random, but the whole People section was already completely random.
  • Keep Buck-toothed Chinamen with conical hats. They're funnier than plain buck-toothed Chinamen, as well as better protected from the rain.
  • Move and edit, but keep, the leatherboy militia. It really needs a picture to be funny, but it shouldn't be that hard for someone to find a picture of some guy in a leather uniform at the Folsom Street Fair site, or maybe just the cop from the Village People.
  • Delete Henry the hungry bush-man. Is this some kind of inside joke? Maybe if the link went somewhere, or someone could form an actual English sentence about him, he might be funny; I don't know.
  • Delete misspelled and ungrammatical random jokes about hobos being some kind of flesh-eating monsters. Even if they were funny, they don't particularly have anything to do with San Francisco.

If you disagree with any of this, please comment here. Thanks. --Falcotron 09:42, 18 August 2006 (UTC)

hey, apologies for changing shit on this constantly. i keep on forgetting that this page needs to reflect a national audience. (I live very close to Frisco) here are some explanations:

"Henry the hungry hobo": There is a hobo who lives in a bush on fisherman's wharf (i am not kidding! google it-- you will be suprised) who lives on donations of food and money that people give him for posing for photos. when unsuspecting tourists pass by, he jumps at them!

Leather militia: Every year during the SF pride parade, there is a parade float celebrating leather-- once again, apart of our city's unique character! the people on the float walk around in crotchless pants and brandish whips, cracking them into the air while waving!!!

San Fransicko: Local radio asshole Michael Savage (despite him being despised by everyone from SF, he still has a HUGE listenership in the bay) coined the term. it has been used akin to another local word, "Bezerkeley". Hobo's as flesh eating monsters: The Hobos ACTUALLY have thier own newspaper published here! It often reports street news (I.E. "Cold season up ahead, soup kitchen open in North Beach, etc.) and such. An old editorial in the San Francisco Chronicle said that "the homeless can't even lay off biting each other like dogs, and now they have thier own journal?"

again, sorry about constanly trying to modify it to local standards, and will keep that in mind for all other related editorials. Steve-A1

I'm not trying to discourage you from making changes, because most of them are good. I was worried that after I reverted your whole massive change three times (are you the guy who edited from anonymous IPs) because of breaking the infobox and stuff like that, you'd be discouraged by any changes I made, so I wanted to explain them.
By the way, I live in SF too, and I've tried to include subtle jokes that'll be funny for people who live here, but it has to look reasonable to people who don't, also. (The same way that, on reflection, your "It's Raining Men" is funnier than the "Sandstorm" that whoever originally rewrote this page put in.)
Anyway, I've seen Henry, although I didn't know his name. SF actually has a lot of... colorful homeless people. Maybe we could add a "Famous San Franciscans" section under "People" and make them all homeless guys? What's the name of the guy in Washington Square who comes up acting polite and friendly but now matter how nice you are ends up calling you a communist and threatening to box you? Or the guy who hangs out in front of the convenience stores in the Inner Mission (especially that gas station on Folsom) and tries to sell you bikes that are chained up in front, and even if you tell him it's your bike he won't stop the spiel?
Given the picture, I'm assuming you found the Folsom Street Fair, but if not: it's the end of Leather Pride Week, so instead of one float full of leatherboys and leatherdaddies like you get on Gay Pride Week you get a whole parade and street festival full of them. My first year in SF, I went to the Fair by accident, as I lived on the parade route, and I was walking to the corner store and noticed the percentage of people wearing leather was higher than usual.
Everyone I know hates Savage (and by the way, he's syndicated to much of the rest of the country), but nobody is at all offended by "San Fransicko." It's his usual sub-Limbaugh humor that's supposed to piss you off but ends up making you feel sorry for the bastard. Whereas people really do get pissed off by "Frisco," especially when said by friends visiting from, say, LA. It's a good way to get thrown out of the hot tub and rolled naked down the hill into the Bay.
I could be wrong, but I don't think the flesh-eating hobos thing is going to be funny to anyone who doesn't remember that Chronicle article, which is a pretty small target. As for the paper, if I remember correctly, that's a spinoff of a program that exists in many cities (I think it started in London); they're supposed to make honest money selling papers and selling ads in the paper, which hasn't been successful, but SF being what it is, they've actually made it useful to themselves. There's probably a funny UnNews article in there.
Anyway, thanks for continuing to work on this page. One thing, though: please try to check the grammar and spelling. There are at least Firefox and Safari extensions that do live spellcheck within edit boxes, which helps me immensely. --Falcotron 18:56, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Also, please don't break the infobox. Preview the page before saving. --Falcotron 19:00, 18 August 2006 (UTC)

strange, the I one time struck up a conversation with the BLushman, and he told me his name was Henry Meyers, but apparently, his really name is David Johnson. peculiar?

P.S. while the picture of the "leatherboys" was from the leather pride week, i think there is a leather contingent during SF pride week. 71.132.148.122 00:01, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, there is a float in the Gay Pride parade, and usually a contingent on Halloween. And at the End Up after each leather night at the Stud, for that matter. But for obvious reasons, the highest density of photographable leather per capita occurs during Leather Pride Week and the Folsom Street Festival, which is why the FSF site is a great source for photos. --Falcotron 05:36, 20 August 2006 (UTC)
I missed the Henry/David comment. Yeah, that's a bit peculiar, but not quite the most peculiar thing about him.... Can you find a picture of him jumping out of the bush? --Falcotron 06:21, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

-Added and changed a bunch of random stuff today. I was bored. I'm gay and the homophobia on this link is rather funny to me. :p Change it if you like. I purposely made it offensive, but tried to balance it out a bit with stuff about burning religious people at the stake. The preceding unsigned comment was added by 76.102.250.157 (talk • contribs)

Chuck Norris Bridge[edit]

"Chuck Norris Bridge" may sound stupid--no, it is stupid--but it's a reference to a real event relating to a real bridge to be built between Buda and Pest. Since I already had a line about a bridge between San Francisco and Pest, there was really no choice but to call it the Chuck Norris Bridge. Here's the history:

  • I replace the marginal joke about an SF-Malmo bridge with a nearly-as-marginal joke about an SF-Pest bridge, because the Danube is funnier than Oresund.
  • Hungary's Economy Ministry decides to take nominations for names online, and put the results up for a vote online.
  • A few blogs mention this and wonder if it's such a good idea.
  • Someone nominates Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris edges ahead of Geza Hofi in the voting.
  • The vote is suddenly worldwide news--or at least I finally see it.
  • Chuck quickly pulls way ahead of everyone else.
  • Well, duh, I have to add the name to the bridge.
  • Someone writes a voting script to get his favorite real Hungarian ahead of Chuck.
  • Someone writes a script for Chuck, who pulls back in the lead.
  • Someone writes a script to get "Perl Script" in the lead.
  • Hungary attempts to tighten the anti-anonymous-voting policies, to little or no avail, as some of the scripts are already generating new valid email addresses in .hu domains.
  • This becomes news.
  • More scripts begin competing.
  • Steven Colbert refers to the earlier news article about Chuck being in the lead, although Chuck is by this point in 4th place.
  • As of 25 August, Steven Colbert has more votes than all other candidates added together (over 17 million, more people than there are in Hungary).
  • The Economy Ministry suggests throwing away all votes after the script problem began. This would make Chuck the leader. Otherwise, the vote will continue until 8 September.

See http://www.m0hid.gov.hu/elsofordulo for the current tally.

The committee gets to pick their favorite among the top three names, so the new bridge between Buda and Pest probably won't be the Chuck Norris Bridge after all. Which is good, because it's already the name of the new bridge between San Francisco and Pest. I personally think "Perl Script Bridge" would be a good historical reminder of when the bridge was built. --Falcotron 08:08, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

Street Fairs[edit]

I have an idea for another section, but it isn't funny as is:

San Francisco is a center of gay culture. The annual gay pride parade through the Castro is world-famous. Less famous are the specialized street fairs--the Howard Street Fair celebrating freak pride, the Folsom Street Fair celebrating leather pride, the Harrison Street Fair celebrating bear pride, and the Bryant Street Fair celebrating raving homophobe pride.

See? Not funny, but there's something there. I just can't stop thinking Bryant Street: Anita Bryant. -- http://uncyclopedia.org/images/f/f8/Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 22:57, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

What was it Oscar Wilde said about San Francisco?[edit]

I remember something Oscar Wilde once said that was like "The coldest winter I ever endured was a summer in San Francisco. While I was buggering young men." I may have that wrong though.

Damn Dirty hippies?[edit]

What are your thoughts on that edition?

- First off, I love it. I laughed out loud when I read it, but mostly because ITS IN ALL CAPS. Like someone was yelling and screaming the words at me. It makes me giggle just thinkin about it. It does need something more though in the actual text below it though.

Doc Strange in the house[edit]

I grew up in the SF Bay Area, so I've got quite a bone to pick with the numerous realities of living in that area. Right from the start, there's plenty of gay jokes to go around but it shouldn't be overkill (cliche). When it comes to people, you've got gays, punkers, hippies, commies, ultrastupid liberals, minority gangs and LOTS of hookers. There's a lot of history to make fun of. The earthquakes, Harvey Milk assassination, etc. Let's whip this fucker into shape.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  08:57, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

Did you hear that Calvin Klein is designing a pair of jeans to be marketed only in San Francisco?

They have knee pads in the front and a zipper in the back.

I'm sure they'll be a huge success. Stylish and practical. A rare combination.

Major revisions[edit]

Okay so the article didn't flow, had all sorts of crap all over the place. At this point I'm tempted to just steamroll, burn, and then piss all over it and then throw it in the garbage can cause its bad all over. There's some good jokes here and there and I've left most in tact because I'm going to do more serious editing soon. --User:Sajun 11/18/2009