Talk:Twilight (book)

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Articles for deletion This article was nominated for deletion on February 11, 2009. The result of the discussion was Keep.


Someone add this code to the top of the page: {{Whoops|Gay}}

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Gay? Too redundant. --Wilytank 12:53, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

Another Edit To Save This Article From Being 50% Pointless[edit]

50% of this article is just organized anti talking points. In other words, a helluvalot of the stuff in this article is merely stating the facts. Why is this funny? I edited out what you can find on any anti website, and replaced it with humour.

May I suggest...[edit]

Could someone please make it so the word "twatlight" redirects to twilight? Or just have someone who has access to editing the page add it (the reason i ask is i haven't a clue what i'm doing....)

Reinstate Old[edit]

I propose that the article is is reverted to the old version, which was actually funny. This is a perfect example of an article that has been ruined by rewrites. Why did someone remove all the good quotes and the characters section? I think it should be restored to the version before April 8, 2009

edit. Now that I've looked at the rest of this talk page it looks like there was already consensus on this point in the past.

Twilight vs Harry Potter Section[edit]

I feel like starting one, I'm not great with the satire, though..

Anyways, here's an idea

Subtitle: Don't ever allow a Twi-tard near Photoshop! Or something like that..

Improvement is always appreciated ;)

Also, locked to prevent editing? :(

Deletion of Comments[edit]

I saw this discussion-page littered with spam and decided to tidy things up. I deleted every comment not regarding the article or improvement of it. However, I left the signed comments.

I'm not a wiki-crack, but i guess you can see the deleted ones, by looking at the history of this page. Cheers, 21:21, 2 June 2009 (UTC)


Its already mentioned that she uses as large words as possible. However, a reference to her best friend being a thesaurus wouldn't go amiss.


I like the twilight series it sold 5.5 copies and is being made into a crappy movie and the Cullens could lick all of hogwarts asses so scerw you

ME: Of course. The Colons are made to serve anyways. XD


Why is the majority of this article eerily close to the wikipedia version? (Also, why is "wikipedia" not recognized as a word?) In other words, the content seems to be merely reporting reality. Maybe it would be funnier if there were more verbiage about the books than the fangirls. In fact, I propose an entirely novel-based article that entirely omits fangirl references. Try it out. I DARE you.


twlight comes out first then the new hp moive (i think) which is going to the more tickets idk but i think it going to b twilight --Mena27 00:40, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Twilight is crap - this article, very funny[edit]

I think its really good and I'm VERY emo thankyou and I have made my boyfriend read it hundreds of times and he comitted suicide eventually xD

make funny... not bitter.[edit]

it seems the individual(s) behind this article confused bitter sarcasm for humour. Bitter sarcasm can be humourous, but cannot be left to stand alone. I may fix/ruin this article. --Man in the Ceiling 02:10, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

What has happened to this article?[edit]

It used to be pretty hilarious but something's happened that means it can't be reverted back to that. I blame fangirls.

I managed to revert it back to the time before it was vandalised repeatedly, but it's not going to stay safe forever. Piss off, fangirls! taskkill /F twilightfangirls.exe . Bet you didn't know what that was. Farslayer 10:18, 15 November 2008 (UTC)


I can't believe this. When in god's name did someone decide "WFT UZ SUXORZ CUZ TW1L1T ROOLZ"? It's uncyclopedia, it's there to make fun of things. The sole purpose of the entire site is satire. Just because I like Deus Ex, doesn't mean I looked at the Deus Ex article and flipped the shit because it made fun of it.

So grow up. Stop deleting the article, because it's hard to try to remember all the funny stuff that went into making it.

For the Twilight fangirls who are reading this, let me put it in a way you'll understand: WTF TWILIGHTZ (sorry-- uncyclopedia) RUZL (Is made for satire) FCUK U HATRZ TWILIGHT IZ M1 LFIE (under attack from those so obsessive that they can't take a joke)!!!11 GO TO HELL N FUCK UR GRANDMOTHERS (Get off the site.)

Dear Cthulhu, what is wrong with you people? 15:31, 20 November 2008 (UTC)Ben

Dear lord in Heaven[edit]

Who decided to delete this article several times over? Was it really a necessity? it's Uncyclopedia, it's made for the sole purpose of satire. This article used to be great, simply grand, but some fangirl twat decided to force the poor thing into extinction.

Enough. You (Twi-tard) know that we think of you and your fellow fanatics as retarded lunatics, and since you obviously can't take a joke, you're simply proving us right.

Stop deleting all the content. You don't see me whining because someone made fun of Deus Ex. Enough.

It's satire, it's a joke, the sole purpose of it is to make fun of the subject matter. Why do you make this so difficult by attacking us and abusing your power to delete entire sections of the article?

This Article...[edit]

Ok, for all you Twilight haters, get this straight: there are two different twilight lovers: the ones who can actually differ between reality and the ones you call twi-tards who think edward will come and save them every time they jump in front of a car. So stop all that stupid shit of 'oh all the twilight fangirls are lonely who will never get laid' and blah blah blah. And as for you obsessed Twilight lovers who hate all the Twilight haters, you're retarded. 'Hang all the Twilight haters!' wtf, dude? I LIKE Twilight, I'm not obsessed with it (and I can actually differ between reality), and I'm open to forms of mockery of it THAT MAKE SENSE AND ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY (like the twilight spoof created by eviliguana on youtube)! The old article on Twilight actually had me and my friend laughing so hard we could barely breathe! But this one is stupid because it doesn't really make you laugh, it just says "oh twilight's stupid" and such. I liked the old article better because it made fun of Twilight in a way that had me (and countless others) laughing, like the quote with count chocula saying "I'm not paying child support for this 100 year old tub of lard looking motherfucker!" that used to be on here. There is a reason for why a lot of the people who like Twilight are deleting this article: IT WASN'T AS GOOD AS IT USED TO BE! So change it back, unless you want more and more people to be deleting it. As for you Twilight lovers who can't take a simple joke or form of mockery: GET A GODDAMN SENSE OF FUCKING HUMOUR!

                                              ~NymphetamineGirl aka SweeneyLovett


There are _too many_ quotes at the top of the page! Look at them. Someone delete some. They're all OK, but this is just too much. And I agree with the person above me. This whole site was made so you could poke fun at things (like Twilight). Stop treating it as if it's over any other article and deleting it, then screwing the text up so it's not funny anymore. I can't even decide if some comments on Bella are supposed to be funny or not. I repeat: we are just making fun of Twilight, and if it's really in your best interests to f*ck up all our work (yes, we Twilight haters and readers WROTE this just like Meyer wrote Twilight) then just get lost. Farslayer 02:31, 27 January 2009 (UTC)


Currently made by a group of Uncyclopedians that have the same reaction to Twilight as kids just above Pokemon's age group have to Pokemon. Right message, wrong writing. This article needs plastic surgery. Barcode711 23:24, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

Shall we call Nip 'n Tuck for that?

Who deleted the quotes?!![edit]

they were so cool!!

I hate you guys

The Article Changed AGAIN?![edit]

Ok, I must say that first of all, this is NymphetamineGirl agian (see above rant). I came back to see if anyone changed the article back to the way it is suppose to be (hence the original version wich was actually funny). I see that someone did change it, and now it's better than before, but I'm still somewhat disappionted cause it still could be better than this (once again, old version!) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE someone who can make fun of Twilight in a respectable way that makes sense and has even the Twilighters laughing, REWRITE THE ARTICLE!!! And to the one who rewrote it to what it is now, THANK YOU! For making it better than it was before and less biased (in a sense) and a little more funny. That is all I had to say, and I do hope that somene fixes this and turns it back to the way it was suppose to be: truley funny and not biased!!





Some crap I feel like writing so I don't know but just write it anyway.[edit]

1)Twilight fangirls who are humourless should geddout.
2)Twilight fans who have a good enough sense of humour get the point,don't they?
And the article is dying of loss of blood,please someone save it from the fangirl's bloodsucking "humour"(which isn't any humour.)(Isit done yet??)
Ok forget what I said it's crap.
The article needs to be left alone.Whatever the fangirls have done might have brought tears to a dino's eyes,but I agree to whoever above that said the fangirls pissed on the wrong side of the internet.[Seriously,if they want nice and sweet stuff about Twilight,shouldn't they go to Wikipedia??]
Ok I said crap.Again.Ignore me if you want.
--WathyreckkA SPLODE O.o 05:14, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

A Twilight fan with brains? You're joking. You're for real? =3

WE <3 HUMOUR PPL! Get it right![edit]

I agree with all the comments said above. What on earth happened to this article? To whoever had the bright idea to edit out the humour out of this Uncyclic article; the character description sheets are gone. That's not editing, that's MURDER. And the AAAAAAAA! reference was removed too... this is the old Naruto article all over again. Can't you friggin' obsessed fans accept that we just enjoy our daily dosage of satire? Even Harry Potter AND J.K. Rowling got their deserved spanking here... does that mean we've got to remove that too? D:

If you want sensless humour that simply consists of emo and gay jokes with a massive streak of pornographic pictures just to try to look smart; Uncyclopedia is not for you. You should go to E. Drammatica for that thing. Leave Uncyclopedia alone, waaaaaaaaa!

P.S: About the last part, I'm joking. :D


It looks like someone just copied and pasted an ED article onto Uncyc. Its less funny than the random shit you see on those n00bish articles. Vanity is not funny. --Pelargonium 20:48, September 20, 2009 (UTC)

Somebody should mentiona Blade vs. Twilight crossover. YEAHHHHHH

Someone should do something with this picture[edit]

Seriously, this one can be used when telling about later parts.

Yes! 00:07, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

 Fangirl quotes/ conversations

"Edward is so hawt!!!11!"

"Ur just jellus coz you'll never get a hawt guy lik Edward!"

"i dumped mi bf cuz he didnt sparkle lyk edward"

"Haterzz!!!!!!! i will tell da volturi 2 kil u!!!!!"


"I want to grow up to be just like Belllaa!!"


"Shut up, you cheesy face!"

"Twilight is more mature and sexy than Harry Potter!"

"It's about VAMPIRES, it doesn't have to be realistic!"

"You only hate it cos you don't understand true wuvv!!"

"I want Edward to rape me! and my panties"

"Edward and Bella is better than Romeo and Juliet!"

"Stephenie Meyer is my goddess"

"I walk like Bella! zOMG!!!"

"I hate Bella, she gets to have Edward, oh, the irony!"

" Bite me, baby!"

" So wat if hes old? he looks young would you fuck your grandpa if he looked 17?"

"Oh mi gosh, like Stephen King is just jealous of Stephenie! She's like such an amazingly good write!"


My kingmen of the land of slapstick, punchline and really funny douche humour! We need a uprising to FOLKS-WOOD (added) and shame these king douchebags. WHO THE HELL CREATED A MANUEL FOR HUMOUR? CLASS A SCOUNDRELS AND DORKS LIVE GO I FORSAKE THESE TO WIKIPEDIA YOU DORKS AND FEMALE DORKS HAVE NO PLACE HERE! (crying) OH we need uncyclopedia back this page was once funny (sob). LEND YOUR ARMS MY FELLOW COMEDIANS AND RALLY BACK OUR KINGDOM!!!

Do I stand alone? --JACKNIGHTHEART 21:44, March 18, 2010 (UTC)



Bella Swan- the ranger who might just be a brunet. I might just be colour blind, you never know. Anyway she's just head over heal for vampires she'd screw any of the Cullens, yes even you Jasper. Edward Cullen- He is not a vampire, He is a douche bag in a tree. He prolly also has a thing for Jasper.

My definition of Twilight[edit]

Definition of Twilight :

The story about some retarded reject with some weird fetish who need to make a choice between necrophilia and bestiality.

By reading this realistic description, 100% of Twilight fangirls overreact and spam the user who wrote this comment.

Most of them :

Got surprised when they learn it was originally a crappy book ;
Don't even know sunlight is actually mortal for vampires ;
Aren't aware that werewolf is a synonim of "Full Moon Berseker".