Tardbusting

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Rare glimpse of Tardbuster action.

“I was tarded before, and now I am again”

~ A Retard on being Re-Tarded

Tardbusting v. is the prime interest of Tardbusters, an international Internet collective of concerned individuals who commit themselves to the lifelong service of anti-idiocy, beginning with intense physical, mental, and spiritual training under the leadership of an unknown religious order that runs the Tardbuster United Ninja Academy (T.U.N.A).

Tardbusting has proven to be too much of an awesome, secret, and mysterious phenomenon for Wikipedia to handle.

Tardbusting should neither be confused nor mixed with Clinjaism.

Tard[edit]

Tard n. - A member of a large group of unexpected survivors who - like their contemporary, the cockroach - are too bloody dense to be destroyed by most natural or man made devices. Obtuse of mind, they are known throughout the world as the Prix D'or for those who possess the strength to tackle obstacles that others cannot or dare not. While the size and scope of tards is rather small, their ability to sneak away from any attack that stresses rationality or decency makes them one of the most difficult creatures to overcome. One should not be tempted to confront a tard by what seem to be their simple disadvantages, for tards lack the shame and understanding that causes others to be hurt by normal social methods. Handling tards is best left to professionals, lest one loses one's sanity.

A tard should not be confused with the relatively intelligent retard.

Types of Tards[edit]

An average GothTard. Notice the lack of concern for either anything that has been "hip" in the past five years or traditional appearances.

Some common types of tards include:

Purpose[edit]

The purpose of Tardbusting is twofold. On one hand, the Tardbuster provides a much-needed community service that others will not or cannot do. (Some would compare them to the neighborhood trash men and women - trashpersons, even.) On the other hand, Tardbusters are highly-trained in the art of hashashination and are of a highly competetive sportsmanlike nature that is similar to big-game hunters or battle-scarred rogue warriors. Therefore, while it is common to think of Tardbusters as simple hardworking footmen, they are more akin to shadow fighters who live by their own warrior code that is not easily understood by the rest of the world - ironically, the world the Tardbusters fight with their lives to protect from the slime of tardness.

History[edit]

The History of Tardbusting is not fully understood by the lay public. It is commonly said to have originated in its current state by a smoking man with a fish and a bowler hat who flew into Paris from the South and sent Jean-Paul Sartre into exile.

Even less is known about the Tardbusters as an organized group. This is mostly due to their shadowy ninja skills taught by unknown, ancient, and esoteric philosophers from Asscrackistan.

NPOVs[edit]

(see: NPOV)

I am going to fucjking sue you, you stupid fucking asjholes! Just fucking kep it up. YOU KNOW I WIL!L!!!!!

-some Tard

Notable Tardbusters[edit]

  • YummySlutBoy, Master of Ceremonies for the annual Tardbusters' OMGWTFBBQ-A-Thon & Tard Roast.

Tardbusters.com[edit]

from tardbusters.com:
  • "They are everywhere. In every street, every town, every country in the world, the morons are rising up. From the batfarting coffin-humping goth brat to the e-popping pacifier-sucking rave girl. From the redneck racist to the gay-bashing jock, from the chauvinistic swine to the zit-farming phlegm-encrusted dweeb."
  • "In today's society it's easy to get by with little or no intelligence and, as a result, thousands of people like the ones you'll see on this site have survived against the best efforts of natural selection. And of them, a disturbingly large percentage have found their home in that great hiding place of all freaks, social outcasts and doofuses (or is it doofi?): the Internet."
  • "That's not, of course, to say that everyone on the Internet is a moron. Far from it. But this site is devoted to that particular brand of idiot, that special breed of moron that proudly boasts his or her stupidity on a website covered in ad banners, crap stolen gifs and epilepsy-inducing backgrounds."
  • "They are the tards. We are the Tardbusters. Let the busting commence."

References[edit]

  • Griffiths, Joe B. 1953. Tardbusting in Ancient Japan.
  • Leviathon, Pete. 1972. The Secret Ninja Order. Cummings, 1972
  • LeBrun, Annie. 2003. The Dali Code. Oxford University Press, 2003

External links[edit]