Technoviking

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia think they have an article about Technö Viking.
Technö viking at work. Pull his finger at your own peril.

Technö Viking's origins are unknown, however his physical characteristics (tall, muscular, charismatic, intimidating) lend credence to the popular opinion that his birth was as a result of a game of soggy biscuit between Jack Bauer, Leon, Geoff Capes, and the Nordic god Odin. His mysterious origins, however, are not as important as his actions, most notably during the 2000 Fuckparade. Footage from one of the cameras led to The Technöviking centered religion known as Norse Mysticism. It is said that he has appeared at different intervals throughout history, altering the desinty of mankind at every opportunity. He is credited with killing Hitler, and inventing electricity.

That Thing that I found under the couch[edit]

The "Kneecam" recording of a blue-haired goddess dancing convulsively, who is then rudely knocked to one side by a man in a vest is a well known scenario to every mother's child who has ever heard the legend of The Technö-Viking. The Technö-Viking grabs this man by an arm and forces him back whence he came, just off camera. The Technö Viking then points at the man with an extremely fierce glare in his eyes. The aura of wrath which eminated from the Technö Viking's mighty form, banished the vested man from Midgard, as well as simultaneously impregnated and thouroughly pleasured every worthy babe within a 6 block radius. The Technö Viking followed up the defeat of his foe with a wild victory dance through the streets of Berlin after receiving the humble offering of a "water" bottle from one of his many devout worshippers. The fate of the man who caused this altercation is not truly known, all that remained was his trampled penis, which fell off during the confrontation and was underfoot for untold hours. The TechnöViking is believed to be in actuality, the Norse god Thor returned to guide the fate of men everywhere and stave off ragnarok at least until the year 2012 when the Four Norsemen of the Apocalypse are hoped to arrive.

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