Teddy Bear

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

a Teddy bear is among the most dangerous animal on the planet.

~ Lindsey Lohan

Love is black and white until you get attacked by a Teddy Bear.... then it's pure red

~ Jessica Simpson

Sometimes I wear a teddy, but mostly I don't.Other times I piss in my nickers

~ Paris Hilton

A pack of teddy bears ate my baby!!

~ Patrick Duffy on Teddy Bear

Osama bin Laden renames one of his sons Paddington bin Laden.

~ Fox News

Rarely is the question asked, is my name my fellow Americans those god damn iraqies?

~ George W Bush on funny holes

Gimme back my Teddy Bear god dammit!

~ 'You' on Teddy Bears

That Teddy Bear is one evil son of a bitch!

~ Noob on World of Teddy Bears
You can see how evil these things are. This is a reason you should never buy your child a teddy bear.
Teddy Bear
Teddy.jpg
Kingdom Toy
Phylum None
Class None
Order None
Family oys
Genus None
Species Any kind
Binomial Name Any name
Primary Armament Funness
Secondary Armament Cuteness
Power Plant None
HP: 0
Mana Points: 0
Strength: Soft
Intelligence: Funny
Weight 10 ounces
Length 10 inches
Special Attack NONE!
Conservation Status Not Conservered

Teddy bears are a small species of pack hunting bear and are the only social bear. Teddy b

Contents

[edit] Diet

Prophet Muhammad, another famous teddy bear

An adult teddy bear, generally hunts in packs to bring down children. Surviviors of teddy bear attacks are kind of rare and 85-90 percent of attack victims die of blood loss and blood poisoning or the simple fact that the doctors are just too fuckin stupid to understand how to save lives.

[edit] Random facts

LIFE SPAN: A long time . A teddy bear is called a teddy bear . I chucked a turkey at a bus

POPULATION: A hell of a lot. 10 billion, kazillion, kalillion, mabillion, thousand teddy bears live on the planet so you children are all going to get eaten and not survive HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

FEATURES: Comes in numerous colours, dangerous at all times. A pack once devoured a whole 10 year old and left nothing but a human tooth so you naughty children between ages 1 and 12 better fuckin watch ouy or I'm going to feed you to my pet teddy bears. I'm 16 so I dont have to worry about teddy bear attacks as they usually kill and eat small children. THE FORBIDDEN NAMES: Mohamed, Chuck Norris, Mr T (I pitty the fool that names his Teddy Bear Mr T), Pooh.

[edit] See Also

[edit] Random facts

http://www.teddybears.org  

2728 Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia