Teddy Bear
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“a Teddy bear is among the most dangerous animal on the planet.”
“Love is black and white until you get attacked by a Teddy Bear.... then it's pure red”
“Sometimes I wear a teddy, but mostly I don't.Other times I piss in my nickers ”
“A pack of teddy bears ate my baby!!”
~ Patrick Duffy on Teddy Bear
“Osama bin Laden renames one of his sons Paddington bin Laden.”
~ Fox News
“ Rarely is the question asked, is my name my fellow Americans those god damn iraqies?”
~ George W Bush on funny holes
“ Gimme back my Teddy Bear god dammit!”
~ 'You' on Teddy Bears
“That Teddy Bear is one evil son of a bitch!”
~ Noob on World of Teddy Bears
| Teddy Bear | |
|---|---|
| Teddy.jpg | |
| Kingdom | Toy |
| Phylum | None |
| Class | None |
| Order | None |
| Family | oys |
| Genus | None |
| Species | Any kind |
| Binomial Name | Any name |
| Primary Armament | Funness |
| Secondary Armament | Cuteness |
| Power Plant | None |
| HP: | 0 |
| Mana Points: | 0 |
| Strength: | Soft |
| Intelligence: | Funny |
| Weight | 10 ounces |
| Length | 10 inches |
| Special Attack | NONE! |
| Conservation Status | Not Conservered |
Teddy bears are a small species of pack hunting bear and are the only social bear. Teddy b
Contents |
[edit] Diet
An adult teddy bear, generally hunts in packs to bring down children. Surviviors of teddy bear attacks are kind of rare and 85-90 percent of attack victims die of blood loss and blood poisoning or the simple fact that the doctors are just too fuckin stupid to understand how to save lives.
[edit] Random facts
LIFE SPAN: A long time . A teddy bear is called a teddy bear . I chucked a turkey at a bus
POPULATION: A hell of a lot. 10 billion, kazillion, kalillion, mabillion, thousand teddy bears live on the planet so you children are all going to get eaten and not survive HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
FEATURES: Comes in numerous colours, dangerous at all times. A pack once devoured a whole 10 year old and left nothing but a human tooth so you naughty children between ages 1 and 12 better fuckin watch ouy or I'm going to feed you to my pet teddy bears. I'm 16 so I dont have to worry about teddy bear attacks as they usually kill and eat small children. THE FORBIDDEN NAMES: Mohamed, Chuck Norris, Mr T (I pitty the fool that names his Teddy Bear Mr T), Pooh.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Random facts
http://www.teddybears.org