Telefoot

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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Telefoot. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.

The telefoot, known in English as telophoot, and in Quazarto as Zÿculatò, is the most common means of communication in much of the civilised world. Although many attribute its invention to the 36th Governor of Texas, who wanted to virtually massage the feet of the First Mistress, it was actually invented by the team of tennis player Lindsay Davenport and politician Andriët Psarisch on Big Brother France.

Eureka[edit]

On Day 2,942 of Big Brother France's 98th season, Psarisch and Davenport, who had been assigned to the sin bin after making inflammatory remarks about racoons (see racoonist), discussed the growing market for virtual feet toys. Davenport exclaimed that it would be great if one could phone someone up and be able to see and touch a virtual version of their feet in real-time. After sixteen years, the Telefoot was finally unleashed onto the public, in the Klingon year X3995O.

Popularity[edit]

Despite it costing 36 pounds per minute, the Telefoot gained popularity, especially amongst strange people, residents of Wales, and nihilists. The Telefoot corporation eventually bought out New World telecom, making it compulsory to have a telefoot line. Millions use the system every day. The Telefoot corporation release a list of the 10 people that people telefoot the most. Number one this year was Jacques Chirac, followed by Chris Evans.

Criticism[edit]

A visible minority in society is displeased by telefoots. The main complaint amongst them is not that it costs a life's worth of savings to make an hour's call, but that one's foot has to be attached to a board twenty-four hours a day so that one can receive foot calls. But this minority seems to be decreasing, with many adopting designer telefoot-footpads.