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How Tos used in this page so far: HowTo:Eat with Chopsticks; HowTo:Duel; HowTo:Defend your Home; HowTo:Lord of the Ringsify Your Life; HowTo:Be An Evil Star Emperor; HowTo:Exorcise your Printer; HowTo:Succumb to peer pressure; HowTo:Do Voodoo; HowTo:Hold a Handbag Like a Man; HowTo:Properly Whore Your Article; HowTo:Make Cheesy Sci-Fi; HowTo:Make People Believe Absurdities; HowTo:Go Postal; HowTo:Become a Dictator; HowTo:Fit Inside a Dryer; HowTo:Change a lightbulb; HowTo:Play Russian Roulette; HowTo:Write A Funny Band Article; HowTo:Be safe with guns; HowTo:Check for Lumps; HowTo:Start a Religion; HowTo:Fuck Off; HowTo:Hunt Interesting Exotic Dancer Conversation; HowTo:Be a Loyal Employee; HowTo:Beat the Odds; HowTo:Catch an Atheist; HowTo:Play the Hitler card; HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant; HowTo:Crowd Surf; HowTo:Purchase Porn; HowTo:Remove a washing machine from the face of the earth; HowTo:Be A Supervillain; HowTo:Build a Computer; HowTo:Win an Argument; HowTo:Misbehave in a Library; HowTo:Multitask; HowTo:Tell your parents you are gay; HowTo:Become Morbidly Obese; HowTo:Hug Another Man; HowTo:Rob A Bank With Your Penis; HowTo:Be a Scientist; HowTo:Break a fortune cookie; HowTo:Build your own Thermonuclear Weapon; HowTo:Chair A Meeting; HowTo:Draw a head; HowTo:Eat Your Hat; HowTo:Flirt; HowTo:Fly a Plane; HowTo:Change a Spare Tire; HowTo:Climb the Reichstag Dressed as Spider-Man; HowTo:Find your own arse with both hands; HowTo:Get off the Computer; HowTo:Go Take a Hike; HowTo:Kill Windows; HowTo:Make Your Own Music; HowTo:Make someone a god; HowTo:Swap a late shift at Work; HowTo:Use medicine safely; HowTo:Walk; HowTo:Write the Letter U; HowTo:Be British; HowTo:Count to 3; HowTo:Raise a Child.


“A lot of British pastimes involve watching the television and drinking beer until you can't piss straight.”

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