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U.F.O. found in Dick Chency's backyard!

Last night at approximitly 2:50 am a large u.f.o. with blinking lights was seen in dicks backyard which is "undisclosed". more to come! tune in!

More in now from Paige! Well Paige how is the vice president?

Well he appears ok as he seems to be exiting the craft along with.. himself... and uh another one of him, and another. Well it appears now that all seven... no wait eight dicks are ok, and are now ready to pillage the earth in search of the life blood they so dearly need to survive.

Thrilling. Up next, cute puppies!