Tenders Down Below
|Tenders Down Below (R)|
|Directed by||Steven Seagal|
|Produced by||Steven Seagal|
|Written by||Steven Seagal|
|Music by||Steven Seagal|
|Distributed by||Steven Seagal Inc.|
|Release date(s)||After dinner|
|Running time||35 min (or until Seagal finds the tenders|
|Budget||$3.99, $5.49 for meal|
“I can kill you 451 different ways with this honey-mustard.”
“Seriously. Doctor. Where's the chicken?”
Steven Seagal searches for a hidden cache of southern-fried chicken tenders in the hull of a ship. If he doesn't find them before the clock strikes midnight, the terrorists win. Seagal, with the help of his assistant, Stefan, make their way through mobs of vague militias, following his ancient, secret inhaling power to snuff out the delicious tenders, meeting Aleut beauty Stevana along the way. But whose side is she on; the chicken, or the meat?
- Not enough squinting.
- Not enough chicken.
- The biscuit was never found