Terraism

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“Sometimes I get quite jealous. People hate me, but they love the earth. What does it have that I don't?”
~ War on Terraism
“I'm a sexual terrorist”
~ Oscar Wilde on Terrorism
“Terraist? I thought you said terrorist. No, I most certainly am not a sexual terraist”
~ Oscar Wilde on Terraism
“Terra is dead”
~ Nietzsche on Terraism
“No he's not. The Earth is a living being!”
~ James Lovelock on above quote
“Terra is not male. Why is the world so men-centred? It's not politically correct”
~ Feminist on above quote
“May I remind you all that the topic is 'Terraism.' For going off topic the following are banned from posting: Nietzsche, Lovelock and Feminist”
~ Forum Moderator on Terraism
Terra: Works in slightly less mysterious ways than God. But probably more than Athe

Terraism, from the Latin Terra(earth) and Ism(pointless belief system) is, as the name suggests, a pointless belief system (also known as a Religion) that involves the worship of the Earth.

History[edit]

Since the beginning of time (approx. 1066 B.C.) people have shown their devotion to Terraism. Terraism is one of the world oldest religions among others such as Godism, Thorism, Chuck Norrisgism (Chuck was the first man/deity to put the G in gism) and The Early Pastafarian Movement (before Flying Spaghetti Monsterism split into its various denominations - Raviolism, Ramenism and Macaronism). The earliest Terraists are known, through stone tablet writings, to be responsible for various earthquakes that destroyed obelisks built in honour of Chuck Norris' manhood. These were known at the time as 'Acts of Terra.' The reason Chuck Norris did not begin a full scale War on Terra at the time was due to a number of reasons, but the main one was said to be that he felt the obelisks were not an accurate representation of his manhood as they had been scaled down by a factor of x23894670. At the time, he was also battling Solid Snake, while simultaneously being seduced by Oscar Wilde.

The 1st War on Terra[edit]

For many years, Terraism was frowned upon by society. So-called 'real' religions like Hinduism, Rastafarianism, Buddhistism, Jewism, Christianism and Muslimism considered Terraism to be somewhat of a cult that was worshipped by only a small minority of whackos. People from these religions were starting to grow weary and fearful of being Terraised (converted to Terraism). Eventually, the leaders of the world, believeing themselves to be under the guidance of The G-man himself (who at the time was working in mysterious ways), started what is now known as the first global War on Terra. While not much is known about the 1st war, we do know that some remaining Terraists were spared by the mercy of Dragonforce and remained in caves in Snowdonia for many years, although some were teleported to the parallel universe of norse mythology, where they resided in Midgar and Nibelheim for 230 years. The only documentation of the war available today is the Dragonforce song 'Operation Ground and Pound.' Dragonforce originally had the foresight to name the song 'Operation Shock and Awe' but this was later changed due to copyright infringement (apparently Chuck Norris has copyright on the words as they are the names of his left and right fists respectively).