Terrible Events

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Terrible Events are events which are considered as Terrible Events by those who witness them. They should not be confused with disasters. The main differences between them are as follows:

- A Terrible Event is two words; a Disaster is one.

Laws relating to the situation of having consideration to think of specific personally witnessed events as Terrible Events and then verbally announcing that opinion[edit]

An event only qualifies to be considered a Terrible Event by those who witness the event and are therefore left susceptible to consider the afore-mentioned situation of them having witnessed an event, as a Terrible Event. In the US, all but one state has laws against considering events that have not been personally witnessed, as Terrible Events. The events can be considered as terrible, but they should never be referred to as Terrible Events, as this is a felony. The punishments for breaking the law in this fashion vary throughout the country: In Texas for example, all events up to and including the Holocaust and that time those monks committed suicide cannot be considered as Terrible Events unless you can prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that you were within 50 feet of that event and within 5 minutes either side of its start and finish. Upon being apprehended for such a crime the offender will be read the usual rights stating that; “In consideration of the fact that you are within 5 minutes and 50 feet of your arrest, that while you have the right to remain silent, you also have the right to verbally convey to the full extent of the law, and your wishes, the event of your arrest as a Terrible Event.”

The law can be odd slatey colors, however. In 1995, an ugly Texas man of 22 years of age was reported as having illegally considered an event as being a Terrible Event, when he related the tale of his birth to his police officer fiancée, Ewe Love; a tight, buxom woman with long golden locks that caught the bright light of the sun and cascaded down her back like a golden shower. Ms. Love reported the event to her colleagues on the force, and when asked to provide evidence, produced a tape recording of her insignificant other, Mike Hunt, stating that his birth was “a Terrible 5 hour Event that left my mother scarred… emotionally”. The bone of contention was that no person can actually personally witness and in any meaningful way, later look back and consider their birth as a Terrible Event to then convey verbally.

When the case went to court, the incensed Mr. Hunt decided to represent himself against the law. His two main defences were, firstly; that according to the law a person only has to be present within the correct time and distance parameters to legally consider an event as a Terrible Event, and secondly; that his specific statement was “Terrible 5 hour Event” and not “Terrible Event”. He also went on record to state that he was relating his mother’s point of view and not his own. The case went on for several months until the jury reached a decision. Finally, it was decided that Mr. Hunt was not guilty of illegally considering a witnessed event as a Terrible Event and he was cleared of the charges. It is not known, and highly irrelevant, whether Ms. Love and Mr. Hunt managed to consummate their mis-matched relationship (Mr. Hunt was an evil and promiscuous chain smoker).

This case raised calls for a shake-up in the law due to the nature of the charges. Many blind people had previously been imprisoned for illegally considering events as Terrible Events. The nature of blindness means that they cannot see. Not being able to see means that in the laws eyes, they cannot personally witness an event to later consider and verbally announce it as a Terrible Event. States such as Florida have plans for a repeal of the law in 2008.