Terry Bogard

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“He's just a honkey.”

~ Athena Asamiya on Terry Bogard

“Many may not think so, but Terry is actually a great hooker. In fact, I'm his best customer.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Terry Bogard

“Terry is a tiny little girl who dances around wearing an adorable tiara cut out of a paper bag. Dance, Terry, dance forever!”

Terry Bogard[edit]

Terry Bogard is a pimp from the future who was banished to another dimension for having way over the legal number of mad skillz per citizen. After his banishment, he quit his pimpery so that he could beat the shit out of people for money. The victim usually on this end of the beatdown was Geese Howard. What a jerk. He is also known for cosplaying as the one only known as Therobd.

Life after Banishment[edit]

Terry Bogard after some serious kitten huffing.

Terry didn't take his banishment too lightly. He spent the first few weeks away from home doing some serious kitten huffing, thought he was a werewolf, and took up eating babies as a hobby. In fact, the only reason why SNK put him in King of Fighters is because he threatened to make their president watch a two hour marathon of The Cosby Show if they didn't. He eventually moved to Italy because America just plain rules. There, with Robert Garcia, he created the Engrish Dialect.

Fighting[edit]

After his deal with SNK, he had to learn some serious fighting skills. Which wasn't too hard because he had enough skills to begin with. He created a new fighting style called... Power Fighting. Power fighting basically involves screaming POWER, then the name of a move, followed by the delivery of some serious Pwnage. No one could stand a chance against such moves, except maybe, just maybe, Ryu.

To save time, Terry simply copied all of the combinations for his moves from Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting. The guys at Capcom didn't mind, because they were whores already anyway.

The following is a list of Terry Bogard's moves:


  • POWWWAAA WAFFE!! : Also known as Power Wave, this was the first move Terry ever created. As the name implies it shoots a powerful wafer through the ground to inflict massive damage upon enemies. It is unique because if you throw something over it, it still gets countered. To Terry's horror, people soon began to realize the ultimate weakness of the attack: leaping over it. Later in his life, Terry invented a new version of this called "RAWK EWE!" In which he threw a female lamb instead.....no difference at all.
  • WOUUND WAIIFF!!! : Much like the above move, only bigger and doesn't move, and is just useless in general.
  • BURRNUUUUWAKKU!! : Many people and resources I have confronted told me that he is actually saying "burning knuckle". However, these are lies. He is clearly not saying anything at all. In fact, this move doesn't do anything either. The delay is so long, that a snail pushes him over, thus, countering the move. Sometimes for variation, he shouts "BURNING!" instead, in which his entire body explodes into flame, resulting in an instant win for Terry out of sheer WTF-ness
  • POWWADAUUNKK!! : This move is quite simple and efficient. He jumps into the air and dunks a donut into a coffee mug. Many say that it is the equivalent of Akuma's "Raging Demon" attack. Terry created another version of this called "BEAT UP!!!" in which....well....it was the exact same thing.
  • RISING TACO!! : Terry throws a taco into the air.
  • POUUUWAAHH CHAAAJ!! : Terry tries to attack the foe with his shoulder, but always ends up hurting himself in the process or just gently bumping the opponent.
  • CRACK SHOOOHT!! : Does what he says; he takes a break to pull out some crack and shoots it up into himself. His alternate version, "KEEKBAK!" has him accidentally kicking his own crotch while wasted.
  • POUUUAAAA GEEZAAAAAH!!! : Terry slams his fist into the ground and an old man comes flying out to land on the opponent with an explosion. His alternate version, "GO BANG!" has him throwing an old man wielding an explosive "GO" sign.
  • OUUVAAAHHEEEET GEEZAAAH!!! : Terry repeatedly slams his fist as hard as he can into the ground to make multiple old men leap out and attack the enemy at the cost of breaking his knuckles.
  • R U 0K!??!? BUHHHHST WUUUULFFFFF!!! : Terry angrily throws a wolf at his opponent to bite them into oblivion. It's clearly his most effective move, as it inflicts major damage from all the wolf bites.

Back to his Roots[edit]

Five minutes before the fighting tournament started, Terry realized that he needed to have a team with him or he'd be disqualified. He simply whipped out his pimping skills all fresh and new like a pair of brand spanking new sneakers and set to work.

In less than two seconds he had already rounded up two bitches to fight by his side:

  • Joe Higashi: A closet homosexual who's parents tricked him into thinking he's Japanese. Some of his hobbies include: Laughing at nothing, punching the air, sticking his hands down his shorts, and trying to rip off Sagat who is clearly the superior fighter.
  • Andy Bogard: Some fucking creep who claims to be Terry's brother and got plastic surgery to look like him. As a matter of fact, he is Terry's son. Thats probably the only reason why Terry hasn't murdered the little bitch by now.

Where Is He Now?[edit]

Terry shadows as a stripper in a typical New York alley.

Terry can now be found pretending to be a cheap hooker in some dark alley. He also currently has a disciple under his wing who goes by the name Rock Howard, who is the son of The Rock, and aspires to be as great a hooker as his mentor.

Andy Bogard has denied any knowledge of Terry as of late. Joe, however, has recently become famous for being nude.

His Most Memorable Quotes[edit]

“Calm ohn! Gat seriuss!”

~ Terry Bogard on his opponent

“Shawl WEEE-AH?!?!”

~ Terry Bogard on his opponent (again)

“LET'S POTTY!!!”

~ Terry Bogard on going to the bathroom

“Hurwwy uhp!!”

~ Terry Bogard on hurrying up

“Geeeeesuh!”

~ Terry Bogard on Geese Howard

“OHHHKAAAHHYYY!!”

~ Terry Bogard on throwing his hat at someone