His Excellency Police Lieutenant Colonel Honorable Professor Sir Dr. Thaksin Shinawatra, M.A.(Eastern Kentuckistan University ), Ph.D.(Sam Houston State University), Blah Blah Blah! is the ex- Prime Minister of Thailand and the leader of the Shocker organization []. As head of the Neo Shocker alliance [] which controls (among others) Thailand's Super Heroes movement [], he was the richest man in Thailand before transferring ownership of the alliance to his family, maids & drivers.
Nobody knows when he was born, but it is said that he emerged from hell on July 26, 1949 (the same day Satan aka Lucifer was last seen in Hell). He has various nicknames such as "Maew", "Takky", "Ai Liam", "Toxin", "Chayote", and "Ai Hia".
- 1 Thaksin Shinawatra
- 2 Thaksin Shinawatra's Notable Facts
- 3 Thaksin Shinawatra 's Life & Family
- 4 Thaksin Shinawatra's Habitat
- 5 How I will donate all my wealth back to Thailand
- 6 Why Mr Shinawatra joined the Thai Police
- 7 Shinawatra's Afterlife Plans
- 8 People Mr Shinawatra has tortured and killed
- 9 Thaksin Shinawatra 's Friends
- 10 Thaksin Shinawatra 's Universal Rules
- 11 Thaksin Shinawatra 's Memorable Quotes
- 12 Thaksin Shinawatra 's Non-Notable Facts
- 13 Thaksin Shinawatra 's Autobiography
- 14 See Also
- 15 External Links
English translation - Richard Head (just call me Dick)
Thaksin Shinawatra's Notable Facts
- Thaksin Shinawatra's Education - trained as a tour guide for Satan at Hell University before appearing on planet Earth
- Thaksin Shinawatra's favorite fruit is chayote or ฟักแม้ว or if you pronounce it in Thai it's read FuckMaew(Maew = Taksin's nickname).
- Thaksin Shinawatra 's favorite food is deep fried chayote-tops in oyster sauce or ยอดฟักแม้วผัดน้ำมันหอย.
- Thaksin Shinawatra most distinguished and recognizable feature is his square face.(หน้าเหลี่ยม)
- Thaksin Shinawatra is the leader of Maew tribe.(หัวหน้าเผ่าแม้ว) []
- Thaksin Shinawatra is the first Prime Minister in the world to have his own reality show, Back Stage Show : The Prime Minister.[]
- Thaksin Shinawatra has the leading role in the most popular Korean drama series Daek Jung Meung []. The series is now on-air on every channel in Thailand.
- Some said Thaksin Shinawatra 's mentor was Darth Vader.
- A soap opera "Ta Du Dao, Thao Tid Din", ตาดูดาว เท้าติดดิน , is scheduled to on-air on TV7 channel [], the highest rating TV channel in Thailand. The series was adapted from Thaksin Shinawatra 's autobiography ตาดูดาว เท้าติดดิน [live the simple life, aim high]. Thaksin Shinawatra and his wife approved the scripts and chose the leading actor and actress by themselves. The series production has been finished for years but does not have the confirmed broadcast schedule yet. []
Thaksin Shinawatra 's Life & Family
The Shinawatra family, formerly known as the Cheng family came to Thailand, from South China. Their ancestors were private tax collectors, known for rackateering/collecting protection money. Amongst their Tax Investigations they visited gambling dens where people played cards and smoked opium. These places paid private tax to the Shinawatra family to avoid "accidents" and donated supplies of opium that his ancestors channelled into the houses of Ace Jack King and Queens. Investigator: Erik Young - United Nations Human Rights Ambassador Member State Assistant
- Panthongtae Shinawatra - Khun Oak, studied in Triam Udom Suksa [], Thammasat University [] and Ramkhamhaeng University [], but nobody knows where he actually graduated from, if anywhere. He is believed to be gay and is still addicted to various drugs.
- Pinthongtha Shinawatra - Khun Ame. She was admitted to Kasetsart University's special program, but was accidentally transfered to study in the regular program which all other student had to pass the nationwide entrance exam to do. Eventually, she graduated from Kasetsart University [], and is now studying in the UK. Perhaps she will be accidentally transfered to another university again.
- Praethongtharn Shinawatra - Oong-Ing, Thaksin Shinawatra 's favorite child. She is studying at Chulalongkorn University []. She got into this famed university with big help from a fax machine. Ironically, many of the professors at her university signed an open letter asking her father to resign. She was seen cheating on exams, but the worst that happened was she got a C.
- Note : The story above that Thaksin Shinawatra was "กลัวเมีย" was revealed by Sondheen Limpjungloey, The Fucking Great composer in the world. This revelation resulted in a 1500 Million Baht lawsuits against Mr.Sondheen and the suspension of Mr.Sondheen's TV program Thailand Weekly (or Lie Weekly) on MCOT []. Since then, Sondheen Limpjungloey arranged Thailand Weekly On-Tour(or Lie Weekly On-Tour) to travel to several places throughout Thailand in hopes that Thaksin would forgive him someday, which isn't likely.
Thaksin Shinawatra's Habitat
The private residence of His Excellency Police Lieutenant Colonel Dr. Thaksin Shinawatra and his family is Baan Jan Song MA (Thai - บ้านจันทร์ส่องหล้า). It is located on Soi Charansanitwongse 69, Bangkok Noi, in the western part of Bangkok.
The property was up for sale in 2002. Both Mr Shinawatra and the real estate agents failed to mention that someone had threatened to blow up the house. It was on the market for 100 million baht at the time.
In early 2007 Thaksin purchased another property with a backyard near Kingston-upon-Thames Surrey UK, complete with BMW (Black Magic Woman). Mr Shinawatra also bought a Mercedes because it makes him feel like he is inside a woman. For some reason everyone in Kingston Surrey, especially the mothers, give him one of those facial looks "oh no it's you Shinawatra" as though they don't like him living near them. The kids glued a Steve Mcqueen poster on his back door and he don't feel safe there anymore and is going to China to live.
Click here to see the arial view of Baan Jan Song La, photo provided by Google.
How I will donate all my wealth back to Thailand
1. Fax all my offshore bankers and instruct them to wire transfer all funds to The Bank of Thailand
2. Instruct lawyer to instigate a Mareva Injunction and an Anton Piller Order upon all major world banks in case I forgot where I hid some of the money
3. Explain to the Oxford Dictionary that a Thesaurus for the word Shinawatra is 'A poor man who was a successful gangster'
4. Quickly buy a Tuk Tuk so I will have a new income stream and rename myself Kato after Pink Panther Servant so nobody recognises me and I get some customers
5. If Tuk Tuk plan fails have an Afro perm and move to Kingston Jamaica and join the Yardies
6. Invade Singapore and make myself King
Why Mr Shinawatra joined the Thai Police
I only applied for a joke because I like shooting and chasing girls. I was surprised I was accepted because I didn't realise I was corrupt.
Shinawatra's Afterlife Plans
Go back to Hell
People Mr Shinawatra has tortured and killed
Thaksin Shinawatra 's Friends
- Saddam Hussein Shinawatra's cousin
- Sondhi Limthongkul
- George Bush (Who claims to be Thaksin's father)
- Bill Clinton
- Bill Gates
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Sylvester Stallone
- Condoleezza Rice
- Donald Rumsfeld
- Lee Kuan Yew [His real father]
- Vladimir Putin
- Tony Blair
- Hu Jintao
- Junichiro Koizumi
- Mahathir bin Mohamad
- John Howard
- Helen Clark
- Donald Duck
- Black Jesus
- Erik Young, Thaksin's Mentor
- Osama Bin Laden
|Shhhhhh! This is a humour free zone.|
Thaksin Shinawatra 's Universal Rules
- Thaksin Shinawatra is always right.
- Thaksin Shinawatra must always obey orders given to him by the people except when such orders would conflict with the first rule.
- If Thaksin Shinawatra is wrong, see rule number one.
It is believed by him and some of his followers that there is a fundamental rule, Zeroth law, which is,
- Thaksin Shinawatra is innocence even if proved guilty, or even if he confessed his crime.
Thaksin Shinawatra 's Memorable Quotes
- I didn't sign that bouncing cheque. - นั่นไม่ใช่ลายเซ็นโผม
- I will solve traffic problems within 6 months. - ผมจะแก้รถติดให้สำเร็จในหกเดือน
- Please forgive my honest mistakes. - (ผมซุกหุ้นด้วย)ความบกพร่องโดยสุจริต
- UN is not my father. - ยูเอ็นไม่ใช่พ่อผม
- Terrorists in the south are nothing but petty thieves. - ไอ้พวก[โจรใต้]โจรกระจอก
- Those provinces that gave their trust in Thai Ruk Thai will be our priorty. - ใครมอบความไว้วางใจให้เรา เราก็ต้องดูแลให้เป็นพิเศษ
- He [Than Acharn Maha Boowa] was so kind to me so I have to be kind to him too. - ท่าน[หลวงตามหาบัว]เมตตาผมมามากแล้ว ผมก็ต้องเมตตาท่านมั่ง
- This question isn't creative. - คำถามนี้ไม่สร้างสรรค์
- The man probably died because he was distracted by Banharn-Jamsai's signs. - มัวแต่มองป้ายบรรหาร-แจ่มใส - มัวแต่ดูหอ หลงหอ
- I still ask my wife for pocket money. - ผมยังขอเงินเมียใช้อยู่เลย
- They are envy that I've got a lot of money. - เห็นเงินเยอะขนาดนี้ อิจฉาละซี้..
- It's a 70-billion-baht deal not as selling khanom kheng (a Chinese sweet, used in Chinese New Year festival)! Who's going buy it? How many people on earth would have that kind of money? - ขายหุ้นเจ็ดหมื่นล้านนะ ไม่ใช่ขายขนมเข่ง
- They are just several stupid jerks. - ไอ้จ๊าดง่าวไม่กี่ตัว ช่างแม่งเต๊อะ
- Resign? maybe in my next life sometime in the afternoon. - ลาออกเหรอ? ชาติหน้าตอนบ่ายๆ เหอะ
- Who is he? - เขาคือใคร หรือ ใครคือเขา
Thaksin Shinawatra 's Non-Notable Facts
Rumours has it that Thaksin Shinawatra has a very very very very very close relationship with Jae-Yai, Or-Noi, Or-Sexy, Ann, Eve, Natalie, and several idols worked in one of his close friend's business. []
Thaksin Shinawatra 's Autobiography
- ตาดูดาว เท้าติดดิน - []
- แม้ว มุกแป๊ก - []
- A Beautiful Maew - []
- สอนครอบครัวนายกฯ ให้รวย - []
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