That time Stephen Hawking ran over my cat during my sojourn in Oxford

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Stephen Hawking is like any other theoretical physicist, only fucking psycho.

Dude, that fucking robo-scientist was insane. Like, WTF?

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So there I was sitting in my fucking garage, doing my obsessive worshipping thing with my autographed photo of Salma Hayek, right? Like badass fanboy shit. So yeah, like, I decided to let my tabby Whiskers out to play and shit.

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But then fucking Stephen Hawking comes out of nowhere, electric wheelchair and all, and instead of coming over to discuss with me the fundamentals of string theory, he makes a wheelchairline straight for my cat.

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So I ran over and tried to stop him, but the crazy bastard cranked up his wheelchair to full speed and flattened Whiskers! WTF?

The cat's mangled body had a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.

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No, seriously. Stop laughing, dammit! You have to believe me. Stephen Hawking ran over my cat.

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