- You are a microorganism of the universe. You have every right to be here!
- Go placidly amid the bodily fluids, lakes and streams, and soil with waste, and remember what comfort there may be in owning a live or dead body thereof.
- Avoid quiet and busy bacteria, unless you are in need of a backup Bubonic Plague.
- Rotate your body, many times!
- Divide glowingly in those greater than yourself, and heed well their advice, even though they are inside of the turkey.
- Know what to infect, and when, and how.
- Consider that two great divisions never make a right, but that three trillion do.
- Wherever possible, teach the young ones to be bold.
- Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing bodies of time, there is always a big future in diversity and new life.
- Remember the Penicillin Amoxcillin!
- Strive at all times to divide, bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
- Know yourself, if you need help, listen in on the CDC.
- Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those life forms closest to you, and the rotten refrigerator food on your left, for instance.
- Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your skin wet.
- Fall not in love therefore, it will stick to your fluids.
- Gracefully surrender the things of youth, the birds, clean air, tuna, eggs, Taiwan, and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
- Hire bacteria with hooks and good DNA.
- For a good time, call 000-0001, division one, ask for fast sex!
- Take heart in the gloom of light, and that the dog is getting plenty of cheese.
- And reflect that whatever fluids may be your lot, always remember it could only be worse at the bottom of the salty oceans.
Therefore, make peace with your bacterial gods, whatever you perceive them to be, the dead, dying, or even cosmic chicken. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban sewage removal, the world continues to deteriorate. Never ever throw in the warm piss water towel!
|This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia.|