The Great Duck War

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What was the Great Duck War?[edit]

The Great Duck War was a gigantic war that lasted from 1762 to 1535, between the Duckists and the Robot Nazis.

What started the war?[edit]

For years before the war, duckists and the Robot Nazis were friendly with each other, they were allies.

C-3PO, leader of the Robot Nazi party, from 1758 to 1762.

It was then that Robot Nazis fundamentalist and leader C-3PO made obscene remarks about the Duckists faith in 1762:

“I think duckism is stupid.”

(Robot Nazi leader, 1758-1762)

The Duckism community around the world was outraged, how could he say such a thing?

The situation was made even worse when Robbie Robot, head of security for Nazi Robot Party, made even more obscene remarks:

“I agree.”

~ Robbie Robot

(Head of Security, Nazi Robot Party, 1750-1762)

It was then that a group of duckist fundamentalists decided to attack the Robot Nazis headquarters in Berlin, Germany. The Robot Nazis retaliated by attacking the duckist capital of Ducksberg, in Duckistan. This really sparked off the war, and soon a campaign was lead against the Robot Nazis by the Duckists. C-3PO and Robbie Robot were fired...Duh, leaving the Robot Nazis leaderless and powerless.

What happened then?[edit]

The two parties were now officially at war.

A Duckist Bomber, bombing Berlin, 1762.

While Ducksberg was occasionally bombed by Robot Nazis airplanes, Berlin was truly getting the livin' shite bayt out of it (as is duckist tradition), by bombs, not to mention over fourty-five thousand duckist troops. The Robot Nazis were losing, bad, and in 1762, Robby the Robot was killed in a bomb attack in Berlin. The Robot Nazis were now leaderlass and hence, powerless. But the Robots had one advantage, they were everywhere. In a 1762 census, the number of Robot Nazis worldwide was at about 15 million, while duckists were at about 2 million. After Berlin had been taken over, and was now the duckist home away from home, they began to move and attack other Robot Nazis outposts.

The Warsaw Massacre of the Robot Nazis[edit]

In 1763, the duckists launched a major attack on the Robot Nazis outpost of Warsaw, Poland. In just three days, they had killed over 15 thousand Robot Nazis, and destroyed the city. This event is now known as the Warsaw Massacre of the Robot Nazis.

So what happened after that?[edit]

The Robot Nazis were now considered officially beaten. And on the 23st of March, 1764, the head council of Duckists officially declared the war over.


The R.N.R[edit]

The main reason the Robot Nazis were said to have lost was because Robby the Robot was killed in 1762, leaving them powerless. This then left the duckists to destroy Berlin, Warsaw, and other minor outposts of the Robot Nazis. But, just when the war was declared over, the Robot Nazis organised. The R.N.R (Robot Nazi Rebellion) was founded in 1764 by R-JC. This was a group designed to destroy duckism, and win back the lost cities of the Robot Nazis.

“It's our turn to bayt the livin' shite out of them!.”

~ R-JC

(Founder of the R.N.R)

This group was so quiet though, the Duckists remained completely oblivious of them, until July of 1764.

The Battle of Berlin[edit]

One of the Duckist Army recruitment posters in West Berlin, 1765.

This was undoubtedly the biggest battle of The Great Duck War, in which over 2000 duckists died and under 1000 Robot Nazis were killed. The R.N.R had now gathered the last survivors of the massacres, and had created a 2400 strong army, which they used to attack Berlin, now a duckist city. Obviously, the Duckist forces in Berlin were vastly stronger than that of the R.N.R's, but it was the sheer surprise that gave the R.N.R the upper hand. The duckists didn't know whether to shoot them, or not; eventually they copped on off course, but not before over half of their army had been destroyed. The result was a terryfying battle, in which the forces became so equal, that by the time the battle had ended, it was no longer Berlin. It was the duckist's west Berlin, and the R.N.Rs east Berlin. Duckists flags covered the telephone poles, while R.N.R murals were on every house.

1765 - The Rough Year[edit]

A Duck being stuck down with Duck Tape by the Robot Nazis in 1765, West Berlin.

1765 was the one year that consisted of the most violence, and the most deaths. Instead of one battle, the Battle of the Duck seemed to go on forever, in the form of gangfighting and fundamentalist murders. The conflict became so bad, that duckists had to be shipped to the gigantic refugee camps in Ducksberg. The duckists and the R.N.R were just too equal, too matched, and were just weakening each other. Soon, they were both tiny forces.

That was before the Battle of the Refugees in August 1765 though, when Dukist forces became so weakened, they couldn't stand a chance against the R.N.R, or any Robot Nazis. The R.N.R slaughtered duckist forces in Berlin and Warsaw, while in Ducksberg duckists were destroyed by The Church of Duck, which had just been born that year. It's job done, the R.N.R decomissioned, and now it was just The Church of Duck and the Robot Nazis, who thankfully were allies. So, in December 1765, the Great Duck War was pronounced over.

Kragen[edit]

Duckism was now thought to be a dead religion. But in 1772, ten years after the great war, Robot Nazis landed on the remote island of Kragen, to find 15 duckists.

People and robots alike were scared this would start another war, but it didn't. The Duckists were left to thrive on Kragen, and today 67 live there peacfully.

Remembering the War[edit]

Today key points in the war, including the obscene remarks made by C-3PO and Robbie Robot, The Warsaw massacre of Robot Nazis, The forming of the R.N.R, The Battle of Berlin, The Rough Year, The Battle of the refugees and the end of the war are all celebrated in both Robot Nazis and The Church of Duck communities.

The Ballyduck Rebellion[edit]

Though January 2007, a Duckist rebbelion was lead by Seán Fearon in Ballyduck, South Armagh, Ireland, increasing the duckist population to an amazing 500!