The Great Minnesota Incident of 1903
Although not many details have been leaked regarding The Great Minnesota Incident of 1903, we do know that it involved Ping, Michael Zudov and possibly baking soda. Oh. Yeah. And the moon blowing up. That teflon moon that's up there now just isn't the same.
"Incident in Minnesota?
Our correspondent in Saint Paul has latterly informed us of a remarkable incident which has occurred in our grand neighbour to the east. All who have witnessed said incident are in agreement as to its wondrous effect upon each involved, and have therefore sworn an oath of greatest secrecy such that the status of our great nation's young ladies, negroes, children, asiatics, and others of the delicate races not be compromised. However, it is widely speculated by certain gentlemen of business and members of the clergy to have involved a Chinaman playing lawn-tennis and a large quantity of bi-carbonate.
Third Moonless Night
Upper Canada and the Dakotas have experienced the third moonless night in as many days. Officials in Pierre have requested the Advertiser to assure the populace that this is in no way related to the recent incident in Minnesota."