The Greatest Story Ever Told

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The Greatest Story Ever Told, is a 10 hour long and an award-winning movie based on a book by Oscar Wilde, starring Adam Sandler, James Bond, King Kong, Ronald McDonald, Hillary Clinton, Godzilla, Jimbo I, Oprah and Michael Jackson. It was directed by Akira Kurosawa, or a clone of him, and was released in 1967. The original book was divinely inspired by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.


The hero is Charlie Foster Brown (a.k.a Dan Brown), a wealthy industrialist who fights crime as The Shadow (Adam Sandler). He discovers from an old Jedi (Ronald McDonald) Master that he is the One who must find the Ark of the Covenant (which contains the Declaration of Independence) before it is captured by the dark forces of Oprah. His sidekick is Caulden Holfield, a Jewish accountant with an amazing talent for Kung Fu and dentistry. The two travel all over the world, searching for the Ark, until they meet Sean of Arc (James Bond), the last descendent of the Buns. Brown (who's a homsexual and gay) falls in love with Sean, who is unaware that his husband, Noam Chomsky (Hilary Clinton) is still alive and is the leader of the French resistance.

After several scenes of explicit violence and gratituous nudity, a group of velociraptors (Michael Jackson) from Jurassic Park eat most of the cast but Brown manages to kill them in the most action packed scene in the film. Brown discovers that coordinates of the Ark are on his childhood sled, "Rosebud." He goes back to his parents' house only to discover that they have been eaten by killer ants (Jimbo I) from Mars.

At the end, it turns out the the Ark is in Romania inside an old spooky castle. Once Brown finds the Ark, everyone in the movie holds hands and sings before being stepped on by Godzilla.


The film was a huge success. It had the highest gross of any film ever. It earned a spectacular $1 on its first century of showing. The film was rated G, despite the fact that there was a bed room scene (although it happened in the middle of En) and intense action packed scenes (such as the scene where in Brown kills the raptors by using his baloon friend). The film won at least 100 oscars, including best director (Godzilla)...

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