The Grim Reaper
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Considering selling your soul? For great rates call 1-800-666-EVIL.
“I will eat your soul!”
~ The Grim Reaper
“Unless I'm on a diet, then I'll only nibble the corners.”
~ The Grim Reaper
“In Soviet Russia, Reaper Grims You!!”
~ Russian Reversal on The Grim Reaper
“In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris Reaps Grim!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Grim Reaper
The Grim Reaper is a supposedly fictional character, whom comes to "reap" your soul after/just before you die.
Most people believe, however, that "reaper" was a typo, and the name was supposed to be The Grim Raper. This would insinuate that the Grim Raper does one of two things. 1. Rapes your soul while feeling grim 2. Is not grim, but in fact raped.
Also, the Grim "Reaper" is highly misunderestimated. Yes, misunderestimated. The Grim Reaper should be thanked for taking your soul and doing pleasurable things to it, rather than if he did something horrible and/or disgusting to it, like raping it. The Grim Reaper is commonly referred to as "The Big Huffer" or "God's bitch". The Grim Reaper also enjoys the color pink, mainly because God took white and Goths took black.
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[edit] Early Life
When he was born, the doctor slapped his mam for such an ugly child. This caused the Grim Reaper untold psychological torment causing him to become a murderous sythe-wielding maniac.
As a child, he won a beauty contest that was judged by the blind. He said on this joyfull occasion "this is the best day of my death!". He then procceded to reap the souls of the audience members.
When he was 5 millenia old he saw his spawner use a bathrobe and enter her She-spawner and hell broke, he then stole that bathrobe and puked all over it, he has been using it ever since.
[edit] Family and Friends
The majority of his friends and family consist of people that have names that rhyme with "grim reaper". One of his close and most trusted family dismember, is the Rim Reaper. He is named as such as he lives in the toilet. Also, the Grim Reaper's best friend has been reported as being none other than The Sim Speaker. The Sim Speaker is, as of right now, gifted, as he is the only person/dead thing to be able to understand AND speak the Sims language (hence the name, The Sim Speaker). The Grim Reaper commented on this, saying that occasionally The Sim Speaker would utter seemingly random nonsense, only to find that in the Sims language it meant something derogatory or that made sense.
[edit] Notable accomplishments, Facts and Trivia
The Grim Reaper has been involved in most the deaths of famous people, such as Yoda and The Swedish Chef. He also won the "WeightWatchers slimmer of the Year Award" in 2003 after weighing a massive 70 pounds! He helped Ronald Mcdonald to invent Malaria as a filler in Big Macs, but it escaped from a shipping crate on its way to Norway.
The Grim Reaper invented the phrase "Dicing with death" while still at school. It was in his cooking class when him and his friend were chopping up a carrot, when he "acidentaly" chopped of his friends head. He then remarked "You shouldn't be dicing with death then".
He also invented the phrase "Dancing with death" while at the prom. He was dancing with his date, when he "acidentaly" chopped of her head. He then remarked "You shouldn't be dancing with death then".
[edit] Conundrum Talk
If the Grim Reaper kills all he touches, if he touches himself does he die? Some people say yes to this, some say no. The TRUE conundrum is that if the Grim Reaper did kill all that he touches, he would surely have killed himself before now; however, he is still alive, and has touched himself previously, which would mean that he DOES not kill all that he touches. But he insists that he does... In the enlightment of the above controversy/conundrum, this COULD be considered a paradox. However, no one has ever seen the Grim Reaper touch himself. Some say that he DOES kill himself, but he is "dead" and cannot die. In that sense he would be related to Matt Hardy who pretends he cannot die.
[edit] Theories
- Is actually French
- Is one of the Spanish Conquistadors, but not many people know about this theory, as the Grim Reaper is constantly undercover and changing names.
- Prefers dogs to cats.
- It is said that he is too afraid to tell Chuck Norris that he died ten years ago. The Grim reaper however says that Chuck is still going strong, and won't die for at least another 30 years.
- Isn't Grim, but is actualy quite happy about his work.
- There is currently a rumor that The Grim Reaper was responsible for the death of Elvis Presley. Many believe that Heaven and Hell were fighting over who got the "King" of rap/nude waiter at their service. According to this rumor, The Grim Reaper decided to take the "King" for himself, and made sure Elvis left the building. And leave he did, into The Grim Reaper's grasp. There is, however, another rumor countering this one, saying the Presley is hiding in California in a sandcastle with Eddie Guerrero and The Grim Reaper, all of them eating peanut butter and banana sandwhiches. However, this is widely believe to be untrue, as The Grim Reaper has other jobs to do, such as creating name typos like his own, and Elvis and Eddie have to be "dead".
- If the Grim Reaper is to found Chuck Norris, he would eat his skull because of the fear of a round-house kick in the face... lucky bastard.
