The Pennines

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The Pennines are a desolate mountainous region, located between Lancashire and Yorkshire. Peaks are believed to reach over nine thousand feet, but to date no suitable tape measure has been located to verify this data.

Construction[edit]

The Pennines are a mound of bricks with the purpose of keeping the people of Yorkshire out. Unlike the Scots who were defeated with a wall, yorkshire folk aren't that intelligent so this is all that was required.

All 2000 million bricks have "Made in Lancashire" engraved on them.

The Rain Myth Theory[edit]

There exists this theory that suggests that if "you can see the Pennies it is going to rain and if you can't see the Penines then it already is raining".

The problem with this is a matter of direction. If you happen to be looking in the direction of the Dead Sea or you happen to be blind then the theory holds that it is raining. The problem with this and indeed the whole theory is that even with your eyes open, it would already be raining anyway.

Pendle Hill[edit]

This hill is home to approximately 17,231 witches. It is 45 feet tall, and it is rumoured that the witches measured this using genuine townsfolk feet. The hill was founded in 1460, in a witches meeting in Burnley, who proceeded to create the hill out of an amalgam of steel,Bricks and magic.

In 1994, several witches from Pendle Hill were taken to Lancaster castle to be hung, as they had been cheating on their taxes. For this reason, the city of Lancaster has since been cursed by the sisterhood, and will remain always under constant rainfall and high winds. However, a survey has since been taken of Lancaster citizens, and only 5% of them had noticed any difference.

Ancient Palatine of Lancashire
Formby.jpg Lancaster | Blackburn | Burnley | Padiham | Liverpool | St Helens | Wigan | Billinge

Preston | Manchester | Salford | Blackpool | Rochdale | Stockport
Darwen | Bolton | Denshaw | The Pennines | Lanky Twang
George Formby | Christopher Eccleston | Narnia | Ashton-In-Makerfield

Blackpudding.jpg