The Returning Officer's Breath Stinks Party
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The Returning Officer's Breath Stinks Party is a progressive British political party. It is often referred to simply as The Returning Officer's Breath Stinks. Beacuse the party has yet to field any candidates in a contested election, it is regarded by some as on the fringe of British politics. The party anthem is "Up The Cock" by Judge Dread, also popular amongst Liberal Democrats.
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[edit] Founding
The party has grown in strengh and numbers and currently has a pan class following with a very strong representaion from the police and the teaching profession
[edit] Leadership
The party is currently led by former radio presenter and "wanker" Simon "Master" Bates. Since being sacked from Radio 1, Radio 2, Magic FM, Melody Fm, Saga FM, Radio Staines, Spar FM and Radion B&Q, Bates has consistently topped all polls which have included "wanker" in the title.
[edit] Key Policies
- Public inquiry to determine whether Prince Andrew's dad is in fact Lord Porchester or not.
- Public inquiry to determine whether Prince Edward's dad is in fact Patrick Plunkett.
- Public inquiry to determine whether Prince Philip was actually shagging Katie Boyle at the same time as Zsa Zsa Gabor.
- Public inquiry to determine whether Prince Charles did actually take it up the bum from Royal Butler and well-known homosexualist Paul Burrell.
- Public inquiry to determine whether The Queen did actually do a turd in the shape of a figure 8 in a temporary toilet in RAF Brize Norton in 1962 which was subsequently rescued and kept by an enterprising squaddie.
- Liar talk to be abolished
- Restorative justice where victims will met the prepretators of crime and given the oppotunity to publicly " Cleaveland steam" thus ensuring a quick and effective case disposal as well as providing a deterent to improve public safety
[edit] Goals of 2006
An experiment into whether there is enough ale in the world for Ann Widdecombe to get a shag. All results are so far negative. The reserrection of popular barman Fred Gee along with hysterical gay namesake Dustin Gee and the dead Bee Gee to start an army of undead alphazombetty presure groups to enforce key policies.
2008 status: Still negative.
