The Shining

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about The Shining.

The Shining is a novelisation written by famous comedy writer Stephen King of the critically-acclaimed Stanley Tucci film of the same name. It is King's 123 x10^32 piece of work, and revolves around a mentally handicapped child who thinks he can see things, a goody-goody father who never has taken a drink, ironically married an alcoholic wife who beats him and his son.

The novel was a runaway success and spawned a television adaptation in the Nineties that largely ignored the earlier film version.

Characters[edit]

A famous scene of The Shining where Wendy dreams of her son and her husband raping her.
  • Danny: The son of his parents, he invents imaginary friends. Many regard him as a pervert, as he imagines dwelling in other peoples thoughts, and imagines ladies lusting over other men. It is also known that Danny Torrance likes to rape chocolate ice cream.
  • Jack: The father of his son, Jack never has and never will touch a drink, because he is deadly afraid of not being able to get it up Jack is known for spitting when he feels like it and his seduction tecniques using his pointy eyebrows.
  • Wendy: The mother of his son, all she wants is to have a nice martian. She hates her life, and ultimately we find that she is suicidal.
  • Dick: A black guy coming from Schwartzia who is almost as delusional as Danny. He makes up words to go with his delusions and deems himself a nuisance in the process. Dick, in the past, had also cultivated yogurt in the Chutzpah Valley somewhere in England. Dick has a secret : he is a pedophile and prefers young boys like Danny.
  • Felipe Calderon:The owner of the hotel at the time of the film. Mr. Calderon was very pissed after the things that happened in his hotel, and thus decided to take care of hotel himself. Eventually the shining plot repeated when Mr. Calderon took his wife and three children. He killed all his family in one single night.

Plot[edit]

The Shining focuses mainly on Danny and his imagination. The family goes to a desert in the sweltering heat, in order to get a job for the summer season. Danny imagines ghosts, but the family correctly tells him that there is none. The plot is linear and there are no twists. The plot goes quite uneventfully, until the end where the family finds that they were actually living in a volcano, which explodes and kills the whole family, minus the father, and Dick, who was there delivering a pizza. An interview with Stephen King found that he didn't know what he was writing, since he was on day 52 of a crack, shroom, and acid binge, and when he became sober, he decided to make the volcano, since the other parts were quite boring. He also mentioned that he needed to have a black person in order to counter the claims that he is racist, though sources confirm that he is also in the KKK. This was the last time King hired a black person on set, as on the last day of filming the black man went on a sniping spree from the top of King's minivan. KING NO DIRECT SHINING. IT WAS KUBRICK!

Differences between the Book and the Film[edit]

Although a mostly faithful adaption, the novel is based on a much earlier draft of the script than that which was finally filmed. As a result, fans of the film may be disappointed to find that the novel features almost no references to the "Wendigo", is not placed in the Sierra Nevadas, and steps-around the film's major plot twist by having Ives admit his identity from the very start. It should also be noted that the soundtrack to the novel is widely considered inferior due to its over-reliance on stock music and an unfortunate rehash of the score to Zombi 2 performed by the last surviving member of Goblin. The novel also lacks the movie's repeated allusions to Al Gore's baby robot farm.

Notably, the film is not a book.

Also, when Dick tells Danny he has a shining, Danny flips him off and yells, "I don't WANT a fucking shining!"

See also[edit]

  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a weird guy with pointy eyebrows
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
  • ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY
  • ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY WITH REALLY POINTY EYEBROWS
  • ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULLER BOY WITH EVEN POINTIER EYEBROWS
  • ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK AN EVEN DULLER BOY WITH THE POINTIEST EYEBROWS OF ALL


Bear and Guy[edit]

Many fans have become imersed in the deep, romantic relationship between bear and guy. Because of bear and guy's fanbase, a romance novel between the characters is to be released in 42 million years. The novels' plot includes the trials and tribulations of bear and guy's forbidden love. It will be in the points of view of bear, guy, and Frank iero, the bear's jealous fiance.