|Motto: States have rights to have rights to have the right to be a state with rights! State's Rights!|
|Anthem: "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd|
|Largest city||New Orleans|
|Official languages||Southern, Ebonics, Cajun, [speaking in] Tongues.|
|Government||Very very very very very Patriotic/Religious|
|President||George W. Bush|
Betty Jo! Come look at this glowy bohx for a saycond, it's got werds n' pictures on it. Look at this typy stuff ahm doin' naw! It's puttin' all them words I be typin' onto the glowy parts! I saiiid, Betty Jo!!! Look at this glowy thingy that I see here! It's showin' me information and shit! I'm gonna show this to the pastor so's I can see if it gots demons in it! While we're doin' that, Annie Marybeth Sue can cook those 'coons I brought home fer supper. Chop chop, woman! I ain't got no time fer yer whinin'! Betty Jo Betty Jo, where did ya put the baybah? I best not find him in the washin' machine agin', er you'll get a thumpin' ya won't soon ferget!
Histery a The American Sath
- 0 A.D.: Jesus, our undisputated lord and savior, came down to Arth to make America, followed closely by the Sath! STATES RAAGHTS!
- 1776 A.D.: God himself, our lord and savior, came down to Texas to make the Sath a place where people's can be free! STATES RAAGHTS!
- 1865 A.D.: Jesus and Satan he who shall not be named, fought to the deyath. Jesus reigned supreme-like for the next 1000 yeeers. STATES RAAGHTS!
- 1972 A.D.: God and Jesus, our lords and saviors, came down to the Sath to write "Sweet Home Alabama" and create the mullet hairstile, the best song ever conceived by God or man, and the best hairstyle conceived. Ever. STATES RAAGHTS!
- 2000 A.D.: Jesus and God battled Cthulhu, the demon representing Man's deepest nightmares, to elect George Jesus Bush as our God-Fearin' president. STATES RAAGHTS!
- NAHADAYS: I jus' heard from Betty Jo's brother's uncle's cousin that Betty Jo's half-sister just got hitched to Betty Jo's cousin's uncle's great grandfather by shotgun! I tried ta tell Betty Jo that it couldn't be true but I got drunk.
- NAHADAYS: Betty Jo jus' tol' me bout this new comediaaan. He's all makin' fun a us Satherners.
The Wo' Of Nawthun Agresshun!
Nah, I don' reckon on readin' them books the Yankees keep writin', but I know the American Revolution like the back o' mah hand. You want me to prove it? Okay, there's a mole in the middle, and it's kinda sunburned, and it's got them 5 fingers everyone's always talkin' bout and... oh wait, what?
Histery a The Narth
Betty Jo! Look a this here glowy box askin me bout the damn Yankees!
- 0 A.D.: The Noth was invented right after they crucified Jesus, er lard n' savyer.
- 1337 A.D.: Al Gore invents the interwebs, with all the tubes. Er, well, that's what Betty Jo Betty Jo says, anyways. Betty Jo Betty Jo said he invented the environments after that, but she's an unholy liar... and a filthy whore!
- 1861 A.D.:FREI'DHAM! YEE-HAW! CONFIEDDRASAY! bud them damn yankees beet hus. We had RAAGHTS before em egressiv nothanASSS took ou RAAGHT to keep HOLY order
- NAHADAYS: Them Yankees 'r lordin' over us Suthern folk with their teeth and non-mobile houses! Forcin' us tah gay marry 'n take baths 'n pay taxes. STATES RAAGHTS!!
- NAHADAYS: Betty Jo Betty Jo Betty Jo Betty Jo said that the Sath is conspirin' tah rise again. She/He was raaghts! ...I mean raaght!
Fun Facts about the American The South
- Every southern baby's first words are DAMN YANKEES!
- 62% of southerners' daughters are also their half sisters.
- If you get a divorce, y'all is still brother and sister.
- Southerners love State's Rights.
- Most people are unaware that The Civil War was actually faked on a sound stage. The part of Robert E. Lee was played by Sean Connery.
- While the state of Kentucky is known to have over four million residents, it only has five and a half last names.
- Gay people and disabled people are forbidden to enter.
- Marriage to your own br-uncle has only recently been legalized in the South.
- There are things south of The South... like South America. Did I just blow your mind?
- Did I forget mention that Southerners love State's Rights?
- God, I love the South!
- The South is the best place in existence end of story.
- You can perform a circumcision on a southern man by kicking his sister in the chin.
- Not plus not equals not.
|The Seven Directions of Travel:|
|Far Far Away|