The Tea Monster

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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about The Tea Monster. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

The Tea Monster. Who Is It? There has been much speculation about who it is. But I KNOW the facts. He is ex-SAS forces, and also a railway enthusiast. And was well know in the railway community. He can occaisionally be seen at the lineside in camouflage of many railways. But his location is unclear. We know he is hiding in the North York Moors, just off the A169, near Goathland.

Why The Tea Monster?[edit]

Well, there is a very good reason to this. When in the SAS, on op's in India. He could normally be seen attacking from the many tea fields. Also I think it had something to do with the fact that he was the official tea drinker of the year 1982.


In 1995, the Tea Monster caught 50-basher-flu. It affects the most normal and sane of rail enthusiasts, and unfortunatley, it got the TM. He was ashamed of it and went into hiding, where in his opinion was the best 50 ever, Lion. So most days it runs on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway, he diguises himself, differently every time, and travels behind it.


This is why he is famous. In 1995, Robert Morgan and the TM crossed paths. Robert recently had caught P2-itus, described on the page on Robert. He was pestering the TM, and the TM was very distressed by this. From that day on he vowed, to destroy anything to do with P2's. Some of you may remember when a P2 group was announced, many people with P2-itus exploded and the TM was furious. So he drank some really storng tea, and assinated the group, therefore saving the world. He was also involved in another of Roberts madness. It was when Robert tried to take over the world, but it was the TM, who gave him the vouchers for the shop (mentioned in Roberts page).


He was mentioned in several of Andy Mcnabs books.

See also[edit]