U.S.S.A.
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“It's time for a change!”
~ Barack Obama on the progress towards Communism
“Yes, yes, I created communism.”
~ Karl Marx on United Socialist States of America
“In Soviet Russia, we drink Vodka and Americans drink Budweiser!”
~ Joseph Stalin on United Socialist States of America
“Always low prices!”
~ Walmarx on United Socialist States of America
“Come and take my country!”
~ Saddam Hussein on United Socialist States of America and especially George Bush
“We have full freedom of speech with no consequences whatsoever!”
~ A white heterosexual male USSA citizen before being shot by Obama's Civillian National Security Force on USSA's Freedom
“It's time for a change!”
~ Barack Obama on making more hate crime laws primarily for straight white males
“You can thank me for that”
~ Hillary Clinton on America becoming socialist
“Take that! Obamamo!”
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger on mocking Obama by making his own Terminator country
“Global Warming is fucking real! Take me serial and go live in a cave!”
~ Al "Ale" Gore on Global Warming
“Yeah right”
~ A rich guy before losing all of his money on January 21, 2009 on the above quote
“It's time for a change!”
~ Barack Obama on Spreading the wealth around
“This would've never have happened to us Confederates!”
~ Confederate on All of the Above
“It's time for a change!”
~ Barack Obama on nothing, just for no apparent reason
“Stop saying that!”
~ Michelle Obama on Barack's obsession with change
The United Socialist States of America or United Soviet States of America was formed on January 20, 2009, while Barack Obama was president. He started a revolution that turned all McDonalds restaurants and Walmarts into terrorist organisations. He especially started hunting down Republicans, who tried to escape...
| The United Socialist States of America | |
| USSA Flag | USSA Emblem |
| Motto | "Pro defero!" (For Communism!) |
| Anthem | "Yes we CAN!" |
| Official languages | Spanish, "Comrade" English, Spanglish, Communism, and Politicalcorrectnessism. |
| Type of Government | Demo-Obamunist Dictatorship |
| Dictator | Great Fatherland Red King Supreme General President |
| First Lady | Great Motherland Red Queen Supreme General Presidium Chairman |
| Capital | Rio de Obamamo |
| Independence | January 20, 2009 |
| Currency | Barucks |
| National Religion | Barack Obama the Brown Messiah 60%, Mexican Catholicism 35% |
| National Heroes | Barack Obama, Josef Stalin, Michael Jackson, Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong, Kim Jong-il, Fidel Castro, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Al Gore |
| National Food | Marijuana, other drugs, Republicans, Canadians |
| National Animal | The Fat American |
| National Campaign | To kill all Bushified people and to destroy all non-communists HAH! HAA!HAHAAHAH!!HAHAHAHAHHAAAA! |
Contents |
[edit] History
- Main article: Barack Obama.
The famous United Socialist States of America was finally liberated on the 20th of January 2009 by Hisself Barack Obama. The battle was still in the days of the United States of America. He was trying to become president of America. He was willing to do everything to win the presidency. That even meant surpassing John McCain and all of the other Republicans he was willing to send to Hell. He started to pray to Jesus, and He gave him the Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx, father of all things communistic. He was excited, and within 6 hours, 6 minutes and 6 seconds, He finished reading it. There was his path and destiny revealed. The Rise of Communism has begun.
[edit] Founding of the United Socialist States of America
After he got the peasants, Mexicans, and all the other immigrants, even the illegal ones, he won presidency by 99.9% of the votes because he said that the Republicans ate illegal immigrants for dinner, especially the ones who ran for president, who ate illegal immigrant children.
After his very communistic-socialistic democratic party won 99.9% of the votes and seats in the house, he initiated a revolution on 1st December 2008 that lasted until 1st January 2009. Why did it take so long? Because Barack had some problems with His wife after having some fun together one night, Michelle noticed that Obama had a mustache, much like ol' Hitler, and left him for That guy who lost the 2004 elections.
So then he had a divorce and then had some fun with Pamela Anderson. He really enjoyed it; and since Obama was now single, they decided to marry, but then Pamela finally died from Hepatitis. The Republicans were blamed. Then he had to have 47 mugs full of Vodka from the Soviet Union.
[edit] Acquisition of Iraq
On January 20, 2009, Commissar Barack Hussein Obama became the new ruler of the United Socialist States of America. First thing he did was to make all the US Army soldiers wear red dresses decorated with yellow hammer and sickles and stars. Then he had them try to take over Iraq and made it Socialist Territory of Iraq for the glory of Mother Russia!
Then some random Brit guy comes and yells "Thou cannot doeth this. That is inappropriately againsteth The rules. Thou hath no honour. Or colour. I thinketh, red isth impropereth, whyeth dideth thou noth picketh blueth?" And then has all members of the United Noobs declare war on the U.S.S.A.; except the Soviet Commissar's Union, which its leaders were all having fun in bars and drinking barrels of vodka; and United Democratic Empire of Asia, which their leaders were still bickering in an inarticulate language no one can understand.
[edit] Getting the Grip on the world
Barack Obama was so fascinated by the world, so much, that he decided to CHANGE it. Wow. What a change.
The U.S.S.A. was a very powerful country, with Warmarx Communist Corporation and other Leading Marxist Corporations poping up around the holes of the world. Now, the only thing that remains is getting Lenin's well-preserved corpse from those filthy, capitalistic ballistic Russians.
Fortunately, the commissar's union of the United Socialist States forged up a plan to conquer Russia and make it back into the Union of Shitty Socialist Republics, by planting McDonalds into that country and taking over the government with <insert name here>'s help by having <insert name here> sell cookies to the Russian president and then serving as a human shield when all the USSA soldiers barge in shooting. Oh and in a Socialist government, the life of one person, such as <insert name here> is unimportant and is considered as giving up for the love of the motherland.
[edit] Operation: Castrocommunist
On July 4th, 2009, Barack began Operation: Castrocommunist, supported by his hot wife, Pam Anderson's mom. The mission? To take over Cuba's many Cigars. How he did it? He sent his powerful Red Army and had them stick their AK-16's up Fidel Castro's ass, dictator of The Cuban Cigar Company Inc., and asked him kindly to retire. The guy agreed, and was fooled and put into a Concentration Camp somewhere in the MidWest, where some guys with funny accents would have fun with him.
[edit] The Disastrous RetroRevolution
Obama's reign over the entire United States wouldn't last too long. A disastorious, communistic, naziolistic, terrible disaster occurred.
[edit] The Mann
- Main article United Republic of America.
Oh well, the guy just wouldn't quit his lust for power. Arnold Schwarzenegger (Oh yeah, his name means "Black Nigger", but nobody knows why he's named that, he's white!) decided to initiate a RetroRevolution depicting the rise of the United Republic of America. It's a very bleak era for the USSA, as the URA is very gray and dim, and reminds one of the Third Reich and another of the son of satan. At the same time, the Federal Democratic Republic of Louisiania was also formed by the citizens of Louisiania and the southern Arc of Kansas with a little of Alabamia wanted to secede from the glorious nation of the Beautiful USSA. But these so called Blacks were virtually ignored because it was all useless land that was a haven for Hurried Canes. And if you, yes you <insert name here>, are dumb enough to ask, yes, the borders changed, here's a visual asspekt to the left, haha, get it? Left party!.
[edit] Unfortunate Piece
In 2012, unfortunately, the U.R.A. militarily defeated the U.S.S.A. by offering Angel Beer to all the soldiers of the U.S.S.A. and got them so drunk that both sides had parties. But then all the U.R.A.-ans attacked and defeated the drunkards. So now, Obama had to surrender and peace was made. Then Obama made a great mudslapping speech about how the U.R.A. is bad and-
-The MarxDonald wall was built.
But the fascists didn't really care. They partied for 12 days and 13 nights with vodka and beer and had a great feeling. Chucky E. Noriz, celebrated hero of the fascist republic, made a glorious speech involving hitting everyone in the crowd in the face. They all died.
[edit] Culture
| File:Robyn.jpg The USSA's culture is very interesting. It is a melting pot of a wobble of cultures. This country is also dominated by white bearded men posing with a finger pointing at the unlucky reader and saying "I want YOU to become Communist", which is starting to become popular by Your Mom and Canada. Obama also has a passion for Siths. So he ran all the way to A galaxy far far away and brought them over for a party. He then made them sleep with Billy and he took all their armor and put it on. Now he's supreme Ruler of the known world.
He had a couple of problems with Sammy. Sammy's his long lost grandfather and the guy just didn't want to put the Socialist hat on, but after realizing that he's a liberal, he put it on happily.
Redheads can get pretty ugly in the U.S.S.A. But they've been incorporated into Obama's Secret Police Force and use their powerful subterranean vampire skills to beat the crap out of dirty republicans and anti-marxists.
[edit] Literature
As far as research has gone, the only books allowed are those about Communism and Communists. Obama has also written a miniature book about his loving comrade Hillary, oh it's wonderful reading. You must read the book! Here it is!
[edit] Politics
The politics of the U.S.S.A. are very confusing and are very complicated for people to understand for people with an IQ of over 130. For everyone who has an IQ of 129 and lower it's very simple. They use two words to describe it: Fucking Communist.
Of course, the only party allowed in the U.S.S.A. is the People's Social Democratic Anti-Republican Freedom Party, also known as the Democratic Party. The political system of the U.S.S.A. consists of the All Supreme High King Father Dictator Barack H Obama-Stalin as the Head of State and the Head of Government, with only his Inner Circle holding minor official powers.
However many times he says so, the People have NO voice in the government except for the occasional "exception".
Besides, according to the Commissar's records there are actually no protests and the people are utterly satisfied with the current government. Even Ol' Billy the Beggar is enjoying his tiny little cell in the renovated People's Democratic Prison of Alcajazz, and its even said he even likes the jail food and very friendly (maybe even too friendly) company of his cellmates.
[edit] Political Geography of the U.S.S.A.
Even though the U.R.A. seceded, Obama with the annexed Mexico made a few changes so now there are still 50 Socialist States in the U.S.S.A., with the additional territories of Iraq and Cuba. He united the Californias and tore down the fence so now all Americans and Mexicans can live together in peace and prosperity.