The Unknowable Theory
What is the Unknowable Theory?
The Unknowable Theory, also known as the Unprovable Theory, or the Theory of Circles is a theory believed to be written by Anonymous in collaboration with Ted Jesus Christ God and This Guy around the year 1891. The three met whilst vacationing, and came up with this glorious and extremely true theory.
The Actual Unknowable Theory
The true, verbatim Unknowable Theory is as follows:
"If we can assume that all things e.g.: the universe, trees, life, evolution, religion, science, yogurt, beliefs, ideas, televisions, etc., etc., are theories, then we can assume that all theories are wrong. Now, this statement in itself disproves itself, because it is itself a theory. The previous statement to this one, is, in fact, a theory that disproves another, so in reality, it does not exist, therefore, the first theory is, in fact, true because of what it states itself in combination with the statement following it; however, this theory in itself is a theory, which we must take into account as wrong because of the first statement. The second statement, however, proves the second, fourth, and sixth statements as true. The previous statement is in itself in a state of theory, therefore, according to the first, third, and fifth statements, it cannot, in itself, be true, or something akin to it. In reality, it goes as a giant circle of disproving and proving, so therefore, nothing can be proved or disproved; however, this is again a theory, and reality itself is also a theory, so according to the first, third, fifth, and seventh statements, it is in reality, which is a theory, not true; however, if we take into account the second, fourth, sixth, and ninth statements, it is again proven; however, this in itself is a theory, and cannot be proven or disproven, on account of the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, & eleventh statements, all of which are not true because they are theories, however, this statement is a theory disproving another, therefore, it is not a theory, as well as numbers, which are, in fact, theories both individually and wholly; however, if we are to go in a circle of proving and disproving theories, then we will do nothing better with our lives, but this is, in itself a theory, along with life itself, so therefore, it is not in a state of truthfulness. This, however is also a theory and can be proved by dividing the square root of pi by 42 and multiplying by the ratios of proven theories to disproven ones, or even unproven ones, then again multiplying by the number of scientists in the world to the power of 13.25688974567878... (repeating 78). This however is, in itself a theory which cannot be proven or disproven, so technically it cannot exist, along with everything else in the world, including non-tangible things; this, however, is a theory which according to the first statement, is not true. As you can see, this is a never-ending circle, but this, in itself is a theory, and in accordance with the rest of this theory, it cannot exist, along with this theory itself..." Here the theory stopped, as the three men were unable to complete it.