The funniest joke in the world
“Oh........ OOOOOOHHHH!....... AAHHHH i don't speak german”
The funniest joke in the world was created by Ernest Scribbler, a master debater who lived during the last chronic ice age. During world war two, he died after reading the joke he created. Later, he was convicted of murdering his mother and an investigator, and his corpse is still in prison, against hundreds of complaints by cell-mate Wentworth Miller.
To save the world from Hitler and EA, Ernest left a message telling people to translate the joke into German, and destroy the original. Thus, there is no English version of the funniest joke in the world, only a German version (explaining the low German turnout at the EU conference. Each letter was translated by a separate person, who would stitch a word together with a group of people. This word would be made into a sentence, which would then be assembled by German POW's, who would later die of laughter. The joke was used in warfare, driving the Germans back to Berlin and slaughtering them. Unfortunately translators in the allied armies died horrible, laughing deaths.
One worker accidentally read a sentence of the English version, and suffered third degree laughs and was admitted into hospital. He spent 4 weeks there, but was not allowed back onto the project for fear that he would want to read the rest.
it is believed that the joke was indeed funny, and not doused in cyanide. This is proven by the reader's survival, all of whom were given Victorian crosses for their bravery. The joke originally contained something about a Canadian, which was lost in translation and became a Mongoose.
The funniest Joke in the world in religion
The hit cult of Oscar Wildeism uses the Joke as a teaching. However, some fanatics took this as a suicide note, and mass suicides occur when groups of people read a re-translated version of the joke. Though this joke is grammatically bad (due to it's online translator), it is still funny enough to cause internal bleeding, and later death. The most famous person to die from this means was the clarinet player from Death Cab for Cutie, who read the joke before his taxi crashed (please see Death Cab for Cutie for moor details).
It is widely believed that the third worst poetry ever, Vogon poetry, uses references to the joke to allow it's victims to die of internal bleeding. Those who don't have a sense of humour, only humor, usually get away with just epidermis harm. This approval spent 13 years being rechecked and approved, before it was placed in the peat. However, once the grandma had died, they lost the approval for and started again, taking a total of 15 years to be approved for use in Vogon poetry.