They Might Be Giants

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The original three-man lineup.

They Might Be Giants is a rock band of dwarves from Istanbul (not Constantinople), still hugely popular on college campuses across the 1980s. They are well known by some for their brand of complex, highly literate songs about Dunkin' Donuts coffee, killing your ex-girlfriend and a huge number of other people in the process, and FOX sitcoms.

The band was founded by two Johns, John Flannell and John Limburger, about 800 million years ago, and has gone from strength to strength ever since by playing their accordions to such classic songs as "I Hate My Girlfriend With A Flaming, Screaming Passion" and "There Are Eighty-Six Reasons Why Everything In The World Is Both Depressing And Funny At The Same Time". Their most recent album was originally thought to focus on facial hair and the many ways that it can make you sad; however, it has been revealed that it is actually about elves and the many ways they can make you sad.

Bands That Aren't They Might Be Giants[edit]

  • The Linky Giants
  • The Mighty Giants
  • They Might Be Giant
  • They Might Be Kobe Bryant
  • Giantplay
  • They Bite Me Giants
  • Them Miter Giants
  • The Mighty Green Giants
  • There Exists a Possibility that They Are Gargantuans
  • We Apologize For the Misunderstanding, but No, We Are Not in Fact Giants
  • The Meter Gents
  • The Shitty Beatles
  • The Replacements
  • They Might & Magic
  • They Might Be Girl Ants
  • They Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
  • There Must Be Giants
  • They Are They Might Be Giants
  • There May Be Giants
  • There Is No Proof That They Are Giants
  • They're After Me' Lucky Charms
  • They Are Huge Guys
  • They Might Not Have A New Album Called The Else
  • The Lust of Giants
  • They Might be Windmills
  • Gingivitis
  • The Might of Giants
  • The Mesopotamians
  • The Super Giants
  • Sapphire Bullets
  • The Bush Administration
  • This Must be Giants
  • The Hitler Bar Mitzvah
  • Allah and the Virgins
  • They're Not Even Remotely Giants
  • We're Certainly Dwarves
  • Shoot Shoot They Are Giants, and They Just Freaking Smashed My Skyscraper
  • They Might Be Bob Dylan
  • They Might Reinvent the Steam Engine
  • They Might Be Rain
  • They Might Be Heat
  • They Might Be Frying Up A Stalk of Wheat
  • Lets Shop at Giant
  • They Might Be Sellouts
  • Hay Might Be Licensed
  • Planet of Ass
  • They Might Be Midgets on Stilts
  • They Shouldn't be Incorrectly Labelled as Giants Because They're Tall
  • The Notorious G.I.A.N.T.S.
  • Real Smooth Moves
  • The Canadians
  • The Godfather I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, X-2, XI, XII, XIII, XIII Versus, XIII Akibo, XIII: The Quickening, 3-D, and The Revenge
  • There's A Right Good Chance They Might Be Taller Than Average
  • My Chemical Giants
  • New York Giants
  • Those Supergiant Guys
  • Grahm Funk
  • The Mighty Quinn Giant
  • Barry Bonds
  • Black people
  • They Might Be Lincoln High's Award-Winning Debate Team
  • Family Circus
  • The Iron Giant
  • Eddie Murphy(sub-section of Black people)
  • The Great Debaters
  • Those Particular Living Organisms That Be And Exist Hold The Minute But Prominent Possibility That They Are Of A Brobdingnagian Nature Because Of Their Stupendous Physical Feature Of Being Of A Size Multifold Of That Of Normal Human Beings

Bands That Are They Might Be Giants[edit]

Other Fun Facts[edit]

  • David Bowie is quoted as saying "They Might Be Giants might be the greatest rock Band What ever rocked."
  • Jim Morrison once auditioned for TMBG in 1972, but his application was denied due to "Creative Differences." The resulting depression led him to commit suicide.
  • In 1964 Vietnamese superstar Ana Ng wrote the song "John Linnell," a tribute to the lead singer of They Might Be Giants.
  • The name They Might Be Giants was chosen only after they discovered that "Flock of Seagulls" was already taken by a very lame band.
  • Their music led to the uprise of Sith Lord Optimus Prime, pissing off fans who felt they had sold out.
  • They lead the world with the most nuclear bombs. Since 2003, they have been selling these bombs to random Iranians in an attempt to better their name.
  • After 5 years, They Might Be Giants fired their backup band, The Beatles. John Flansburgh later explained that their pro-choice position led to this.
  • Incorrect homophones make the band throe up.
  • TMBG enjoys running down the Statue of Liberty, your girlfriend's dad, and American values, in their blue, '67BC Thunderbird. They are currently on trial in a shack somewhere in Idaho for inappropriate use of the word "prevenge."
  • In the year 1990, they made a scientific breakthrough when they discovered that when it rains, it snows, disproving the previous theory that when it rains, it pours. They were awarded the Nobel Prize for this discovery.
  • They might be Giants.
  • No one in the world ever gets what they want, and that is beautiful.
  • Everybody dies frustrated and sad, and that, too, is beautiful.
  • James Ensor, the band's manager (not to be confused with Belgium's famous painter), is really a hippo in disguise. When They Might Be Giants found out, they responded, "I KNEW IT."
  • The movie "They Might Be Giants," starring George C. Scott, was named after the band. The subsequent lawsuit gained TMBG fifty billion dollars.
  • They drive around in a coffee-powered van that they made themselves one night in their parents' garage; they built it in 876 hours without sleeping.
  • After making enough money, They Might Be Giants hired contractors to build them a little empire, using some crazy garbage called the blood of the exploited working class. To this day, John and John can be found sitting in their thrones, laughing and making a fortune from all the people they tortured.
  • Long before the band was formed, John Flansburgh had a job at the crumb factory (where he was named Employee of the Month), while John Linnell had a job climbing the walls.
  • The Great Luke Ski has often claimed to be one of the original members of They Might Be Giants, but was kicked out for being too fat, and not nerdy enough.
  • In 2007, late-nite talk show host Conan O'Brien filed a restraining order against They Might Be Giants.

Ginormous[edit]

Big, big, fake, fake lies.

In an effort to improve their image, They Might Be Giants created a propaganda movie, "Ginormous". If you're planning on buying the DVD (only $19.99), be forwarned: it's full of big, big, fake, fake lies, and may possibly leave tabloid footprints in your hair and/or everywhere.

Current Stuff[edit]

They Might Be Giants have released their new album "There Goes Science" on iToons. Expect the CD in a few years (when they figure out how to work their CD burner). With the new album out, TMBG plans to go back to releasing monthly Poocasts filled with music they've already released.

Discography[edit]

  • They Might Be Reclusive Weirdos (1)
  • I Can Almost Afford A Lincoln (1492)
  • Bob Dylan's Dream (1766)
  • Emancipation Proclamation (1863)
  • Reading the Thesaurus (1888)
  • This Might Be Spinal Tap (1945)
  • Revolver (1966)
  • Obscure Political Reference (1982-2008)
  • Malcolm in the Middle (1986)
  • Apollo Creed (1988)
  • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Showroom (1991)
  • F.L.U.D.D. (1992)
  • Overrated Single #18 (199X)
  • Now To Piss Off All Of Our Fans, WHERE'S THE BAND (1999)
  • Car Accident (2001)
  • 497 Assorted Children's Albums (2002-2092)
  • YES! (2002)
  • Brainwash Your Kids (2003)
  • The One On Homestarrunner.com (2005)
  • Here Comes the Juggernaut! (2065)
  • The Elf (3000)
  • Vertebral Column - EP (sometime ago)
  • Here Come Some More Propoganda (3123)
  • Here Comes the Big Flat Earth (4009)
  • Leave Us the Heck Alone Already(4009)
  • Grannybots (4009)
  • Diverge (4015)
  • Cuz I Said So!!! (4015)
  • Wind Power (4016)
  • I H8 Lyfe (4018)
  • All Your Bloody Corpses (4018)
  • The Umbrella Academy (4018)
  • Bring me the head of Kenny Rogers ('til the end of time)

See Also[edit]