|Fire Danger: CATASTROPHIC (delete)
A throne is a specialized chair which uses advanced technology to strike fear, love, abject terror, and other emotions in the hearts and spleens of the ruling monarch's highly impressionable subjects.
The Seat of Ultimate Power
Today's modern thrones, costing billions and billions of farthings, have complex control panels and telepathic user interfaces, which makes it delightfully easy and fun to smite hordes of worthless peasants at a range of up to thousands of furlongs.
The Throne of Queen Elizabeth 2: Standard Armaments
- Futuristic force fields
- Night vision helmet
- Spinning leg spikes
- Invisibility screen
- Disco laser show
- Cone of Silence
- Photon torpedoes
- Fireball launcher
- Voodoo wave intensifier
- Bitch-slapping robotic arm
- 45 caliber industrial anointing cannon
- Radar Controlled Scepter of Death
- Wrath of Khan
- A bilingual dictionary - used so H.M can throw insults at her foreign counterparts for amusement
Nobody Messes with the Queen's Throne
Since her bloody coup d'état in 1952, Queen Elizabeth 2 has successfully defended her throne by fending off thousands of brutal counterattacks, killing millions of pitchfork-wielding revolutionaries in the process. As of 2005, the power-mad queen, having recently refit her mighty throne with twin helicopter blades and napalm tanks, is currently engaged in a massive defoliage campaign of Northern Ireland and Scotland.