Tim Lovejoy

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Tim Lovejoy behind the wheel of a car
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Tim Lovejoy.

Tim "that fucking cunt" Lovejoy is just ahead of Christopher Biggins and Michael Jackson as the funniest man alive today. No, Seriously.

He is single handly responsible for turning Fifth Gear from a good motoring show into a dozen laughs a minute comedy about cars. Rumour has it that he gets Jeremy Clarkson shitting himself just by being on TV talking about cars. Such is the wild success of the show due to Lovejoy's arrival, that it now gets 50 times the number of viewers that Top Gear gets.

Biography[edit]

Disclaimer: This entry was written by somebody who is neither funny nor intelligent.

Tiny Tim was born from a hyena - which explains his amazing ability to laugh at his own jokes. After a torrid childhood devoid of football and cars, he was plucked from his deprived lifestyle and put on a pokey little saturday morning show lovejoy am to pay the bills for Elton John's flower habit. However people were turned off from viewing as they expected that queer vicar off the simpsons. However Timofay came up with an idea that saved the show - changing the name to Soccer AM. And the programme snowballed from there, appealing to the public with TimTim's great sense of humour.

After vast bounding success with the show, Lovejoy reckoned that the same jokes would transfer to something else - cars, even though he had no idea what they were. Soon he was appearing on the nation's number one channel, five as the lead presenter of the top motoring show in the country. Luckily none of the viewers noticed that he couldn't drive due to his amazingly funny jokes and the fact that nobody ever saw him driving a car outside of crashing it on purpose.

Following the amazing success TIMMMMAAAY! had with fifth gear, he decided to leave after just one series, declaring his work had been done.

Trivia[edit]

  • He is the world's only person to have a leather jacket actually growing from his back.
  • He caused Richard Hammond to crash. Prick!
  • His biggest claim to fame is sharing a last name with Reverend Lovejoy
  • He made Henry VIII invoke the buggery act of 1533, just cos.
  • He has refused to accept the buggery act and still violates weasels regularly
  • He is the founding and (only) member of the Tim Lovejoy Fan Club
  • He has no pubes
  • Likes to make penis imprints in Country Life butter