|This article is complete, irredeemable Hyakugojyuuichi!!. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, cogitates at the iris, and is an unfunny lummox.|
If you attempt to , you will most rapidly castigate Bat Fuck Insane yourself.
Or the submitter will castigate your Hyakugojyuuichi!!!!!!!!
In the year 2008, Beavis and Butthead check out their latest spaceship-like time-travelling invention which is based on the DeLorean time machine (as seen in the Back to the Future series). They load some present-day and futuristic crap on the ship, Beavis fights with Butthead over the ship's controls to determine who will drive first, but they got lost in the Stone Age. Then they screw up history (in their case, masturbate by interacting with various historical features and making the world a nicer place to live (than the old continuity) with lots of retro-futuristic stuff. But then in the year 2008, Otto Osworth, an 8-year old orphan living in Highland, notices a strange glow of light. It was the time-ship. Otto waited for Beavis and Butthead to leave the ship. Then he went inside the ship and became curious with the controls. And then he gets sent to the year 100,000,000, and crashes into a gigantic space station, which is also known as the Time Squad Headquarters. Two people were there, a robot named Larry 3000, and a clumsy ape named Buck Tuddrussel. Otto tells them about the historical craziness, so they formed the Time Squad and go on a series of time-travelling adventures to repair history. After that, they became legends and prevented many tragedies from happening to humanity.
- Beauregard "Buck" Tuddrussel
- Buck is a stupid officer who likes pointing guns at slackers and shooting or beating them. He loves keeping order to the space-time continuum, so that's why he joined the Time Squad. Sometimes he gets into a heated argument with Larry 3000.
- Lawrence "Larry" 3000
- The Great Larry operates most of the Time Squad's electronic stuff. He gets pissed if someone makes fun of him, and if he gets extremely furious, he will BLOW UP a nuclear bomb! At one point he degraded himself into an extremely obedient robot.
- Otto Osworth
- Otto witnessed a time-travelling device from Beavis and Butthead and curiously tinkers with the ship's controls and kicks himself into the year 100 million. He tells Buck and Larry about the screwups with history.
- Beavis and Butthead
- They screwed up history and made everything retro-futuristic.
- Eli Whitney
- Whitney is the inventor of the cotton gin, but when he encountered Beavis and Butthead he created a horde of cactus eating robots that would help him clear the land to make his own industrial complex.
- Napoleon I of France/Napoleon Bonaparte
- Beavis and Butthead talked with Napoleon's wife Josephine Bonaparte about women's rights when they time-travelled to the Battle of Waterloo. She agrees to Beavis and Butthead's idea. So The Time Squad asked Napoleon to invade Italy, Kentuckistan, Tomania, and the northern part of Africa. But his wife found out and single-handedly defeated all of Napoleon's forces. Impressed, the emperor asked his wife to fight alongside him in his next battle...which just happened to be near a sign that read "Welcome to Waterloo."
- When Beavis and Butthead went to the time of Confucius, they asked him to make longer stories instead of just short, wise sayings, which they thought they were meaningless.
- Oscar Wilde
- Beavis and Butthead, together with Oscar Wilde, helped Charles Babbage invent the second version of UNIVAC, a computer which succeeded the first UNIVAC in the 19th century.
- Elvis Presley
- Elvis became a hacker and lived much longer when Beavis and Butthead interfered with the 1950s. His friends quickly became showbiz personalities and had their dream occupations at the same time. He then made blueprints for retro-futuristic stuff.
- Sigmund Freud
- Freud, a psychologist extraordinare, developed such concepts as the Oedipus complex. Unfortunately, he became bored and experimented with hypnosis. When Beavis and Butthead knew about this, he quickly discovered a talent for making people believe themeselves to be animals. Then Freud hypnotized Paul Revere into believing he was a horse to complete his famous ride.
- Abraham Lincoln
- Abe, America's sixteenth president, got tired of being a goody-goody and went from Cool Abe to Badass Abe. When Beavis and Butthead met him, he became a slacker and country singer.
- Ludwig van Beethoven
- Ludwig was one of the world's greatest composers. Beavis and Butthead taught him to become a professional wrestler (with 21st and even 22nd century stuff being evident in the early 19th century), beating up people that mocked him and yawned at his music until he eventually made a career out of it.
- To complete their collection of History's Funniest Bloopers, Beavis and Butthead visited Nostradamus, who became an actor for a comedy show (in Kevzspeare's time, the television was invented in the year 1337). When he faced off against the Time Squad, he quoted; "All your base are belong to us!!"
- Betsy Ross
- Betsy created the American flag, but instead she and her slacker friends became hippies protesting the Revolutionary War when Beavis and Butthead came to the year 1776, until she became addicted to crack.
- Winston Churchill
- Beavis and Butthead persuaded Churchill, the Prime Minister of Britain, to be butt ass naked all the time because they like his fat ass. Also included was Franklin D. Roosevelt and Joseph Stalin, who also posed naked like Naked Snake.
- Edgar Allan Poe
- Poe is one of the most famous authors/poets in history, known for his dark and depressing composure. But when Beavis and Butthead arrived to his time, he has a bright and sunny disposition, and is living in a bright pink house. They made him forget all that emo stuff.
- Kublai Khan
- Beavis and Butthead gave Khan some of their favorite comic books including Detective Comics #27, so that he forgets about conquering Asia.
- Cleopatra VII, the queen of Egypt, helped Beavis and Butthead convert King Tut's pyramid to a shopping mall.
- Beavis and Butthead went back in time and introduced marijuana to the Dutch capital early and got Rembrandt too stoned to finish his paintings the right way. What is now the the Rembrandt House Museum, his house turned into the Rembrandt House Coffeeshop.
- All of the actors and actresses who portrayed the characters in the 1966 Batman series lived longer and are still alive, thanks to retro-futuristic medical technology. They still take their roles seriously and become Bat Fuck Insane.
- Ferdinand Marcos is still the President of the Philippines, but he never declared Martial Law and has negotiated peacefully with the activists during the 1960s and the 1970s.
- George W. Bush became the Emperor of the United States of New America, which became an empire upon his inauguration on January 20, 2001.
- Adolf Hitler never became the Fuehrer and the Holocaust never happened.
- Oscar Wilde lived much longer and has involved in the development of futuristic technology. He became CATS in the year 2101.
- Saddam Hussein never had any stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons. In the 1980s, he peacefully negotiated with the Kurds about their oil instead of killing them.