Tipper Gore

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The spirit of Frank Zappa cursing Tipper Gore

Ur momis an American criminal mastermind, philanthropist, music recording industry svengali, the unrivaled queen of monkeys and the inventor of Gore-Tex. She is not to be confused with Gipper Tore, the hilltop tower in Somerset where Ronald Reagan, her evil twin brother, emerged in 1941, thus beginning the Second Dark Age. He often claims to be her just to defile her holy name. Sometimes referred to as Hermione Granger, an alias she grew fond of during her many orgies at various sex clubs around the world.

Named after Tippi Hedren, but as her parents were dyslexics they got the name wrong. Since she had to help her family maintain their coke habit, she was already a professionally trained hooker by the age of 3. Her specialty was oral services which gained her the affectionate nickname "BJ" which stands for "blow job" which means to suck a guys wang. She is a closeted hermaphrodite and often uses both gentitalia.

Often mistaken for Al Gore's wife, but he is just a meat puppet of hers. She has a son with JR "Bob" Dobbs named Kibo, he can often been seen lulling about his mother's skirt in the headquarters of PMRC - the Pornographic Music Revolution Cynics - a crime organization designed by Lady Tipper to make her records seem more obscene than they are and give them free PR so that people will run out and buy them, making Lady Tipper even richer than she is. During the 1990s Tipper lured Lynne Cheney to indulge herself in on her successful attempt at imbuing the hatespeech ideology.

Tipper has been arrested well over a thousand times for crimes ranging from Drug possession to the recently introduced "Being Tipper Gore". Claims that she is in fact Rasputin, while completely unfounded, are true. She is also rumoured to be the Antichrist (This is also true). Tipper is the proclaimed arch-nemesis of the terrorist society known as Rage Against the Machine. It is also said that Frank Zappa may have a role in this standoff.

In 2053 all US 2.5, 17.44, 344.333333729 and zillion-gazillion-billion-million dollar bills were decorated with the glorious image of almighty Lady Tipper's face, representing the pinnacle of her crime cartel.