Toe Jam

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Toe Jam was a famous Alternative/Punk Opera group of the 1790's. Toe Jam was one of the Founding Fathers of Alternative/Punk Opera. Their "new" style of music created many new roadies.

Emotionally complex frontman Johann "Seattle" Sebastian Bach (1685-1750) strikes a wry pose for the painter.

Biography[edit]

Toe Jam started as Mother Loves My Bone. In 1790, Andrew Wood, Toe Jam's first vocalist, died from Gangrene. Their music sounded really weird, so they decided they needed another singer, so they hired Johann "Seattle" Bach. When they went into the studio to recorded their first album, the drummer, Dave Krusen, had to go to the bathroom. They only had the studio for a short time, so they had to borrow ZenGarden's drummer, Matt Cameron. They liked him, so, as any good friend would do who borrows an object of any value, they didn't return him. As it turns out, the ZenGarden was a breeding ground for Athlete's Foot, and Matt's toes turned itchy and later turned yellow. They decided they needed to rename the band to Toe Jam.

After a few weeks, the original drummer was witnessed coming out of the bathroom. Dave Krusen was reported saying "Do *NOT* go in there!" The band no longer needed Matt. Later the band realized that Dave Krusen had stage fright, and had to take a number 2 before every concert. They canned his arse and hired Matt again. This was a good thing, because they needed someone with Toe Jam to take pictures of for their albums.

In 1966 Toe Jam kicked Mussolini out of office and took over China

Albums[edit]

Toe Jam released several albums in it's 150 year history:

  • Ten Toes
    Mytoes.jpg
    Ten Toes Album Cover
Grass.jpg
Yield To The Fungus Album Cover
  • Toe Vs. Toe
  • Disintegrate
  • Podiatry
  • No Toes
  • Yield To The Fungus
  • Wart Profile
  • Toe Jam
  • Bunion
  • Spur Act
  • Lost Spurs

Famous Songs[edit]

Toe Jam released many popular songs. Here is a sample list:

Even Flow of Pus
Is this Alive?
Jeremy's Jam
Garden for Fungus
Go Spur
Animals Don't have Jam, Why do I?
Daughter's Jam
Glorified Jam
Disintegrate
Bloody Toes
Spin The Black Toe
Doc, It's Nothing, man
Pry, Try To Split my Toes
Bugs Between My Toes
Better [See a Doctor] Man
Sometimes Hurts
In My Toenails
No Way to Walk
Do The Evolution, Warts!
Bunion In Hiding
'Push Me, Pull Me', Says Toe Jam
Evacuation
Yellow Toes are Insignificant
Toes Of The Girl
Spur Grievance
Parting Ways, Jam
Save You Toes
Green Disease
Sad
Down[hill from here]
Not Yellow In The Moonlight
Don't Gimme No Wart
Black, Red, Yellow [Stuff]
Yellow Ledbutter Jam
Fatal Toes
Squishy Footsteps
Wash your Toes
Brother's Toes

See Also[edit]