Tommy Lee Jones Principle
In any given movie (), of which Tommy Lee Jones () is a member of the cast, there will be the involvement of some weapon (), most commonly a gun (), and a plot () involving the hunting () of a person or other entity. Such that:
Variations on this equation can involve the inverse of the hunting plot (), which hence will change the variable of the movie ( to ), such that:
Which indicates that Tommy is not hunting someone, but instead protecting them (or himself) from the hunt. In the movies that arise involving both the hunting and protection of or by Tommy Lee Jones, there takes place a certain symmetrical perfection that will lull the viewers of such a movie (here represented as ) into such a state of euphoria that their heads () will explode:
The Tommy Lee Jones Principle itself dates back to sometime in the early 80s when Tommy's former college roommate the British Al Gore was coming up with ideas and inventions. Rummaging around through some old calculus books, Al chanced upon a page explaining continuous functions. While sitting there trying to comprehend what was going on, he spilled coffee all over the page and his pants. The stain left on the page had a unique look. It was in the outline of Tommy Lee Jones. The stain on his pants didn't look like anything.
Al looked within the eye area that was unblemished by coffee and noticed the variables formed together in the perfect equation to explain Tommy's movie career.
On the way to the dry-cleaners, Al called Tommy. It was here that he derived a simple formula for creating the internet.
Key Movie Examples
- JFK, where he's hunted for conspiring with Lee Harvey Oswald to murder President Kennedy. Lee Harvey Oswald would've had a gun.
- Natural Born Killers, where he hunted natural born killers. Someone presumably had a gun.
- Batman Forever, where he was hunted by a guy who probably could've passed himself off as President Kennedy to really stupid people, possibly the same people who would've been the natural born killees. Killees killed by guns.
- Cobb, where he hunts for booze and loose women. His character possesses a gun.
- The Fugitive, where he uses a gun to hunt down Han Solo and a one-armed man
- U.S. Marshalls, where he uses a gun to hunt down Lando Calrissien
- Double Jeopardy, where he hunts an occasionally naked Ashley Judd, possibly toting a gun
- Men in Black, where he and Lando Calrissien use really big guns to hunt down Jar Jar Binks
- Men in Black 2, where he and an occasionally naked Ashley Judd hunt down a one-armed Jar Jar Binks
- Volcano, where he and Jar Jar Binks are hunted by lava
- The Missing, where he uses one arm to hunt down a starring role in The Hunted
tommy lee and pamela anderson sex tape where he roots several puppys and drives a boat with his tiny penis