Torpedo
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A torpedo is a really, really big metal tube thingy made by those army guys, according to the latest military reports.
Please remember, this is a government report and any complaints should be taken to the Bush Government and they will get around to ignoring your complaint as soon as possible
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[edit] Method
First the big strong, muscly ship lines up to point in the Bad Guy's direction. Then the Bad Guy waits and growls and gets angry. The Good Guys suddenly ejaculate the torpedo into the Bad Guy's ship.
The following noises should be made or else what you have isn't a torpedo:
- BOOM!
- BANG!
- EEEK!
Then all the Bad Guys should go away and you can now put your flag (the American flag) on their land. And then all the townspeople will rejoice, singing, YAY, WHOOO and WHOOP!
[edit] Targets
These are the following targets that you, a keeper of the peace, should blow up:
- Osama Bin Laden
- Saddam Hussein
- That North Korean Guy
- Probably some Mexicans
- Islams
The following you SHOULD NOT blow up
[edit] Where you can purchase your Torpedoes
This is top secret information despite the fact it's being published over the net. If you are a terrorist, please cover your ears and hum.
To buy a torpedo or any nuclear weapon you need to know the whereabouts of these dealers. Most can be found in many underground bases in Iraq (this sentence was personally put in by George Bush). These bases might prove difficult to get access to as no government organisation knows their whereabouts so chances are you won't either. Though if you are looking for easy access to nuclear arms just look for a top secret base located in Washington called "The White House". Once you have gained access (just say that you're a tourist) ask for a man who goes by the name of George Bush. He should supply you with all the nuclear arms you need on one condition, you must not be surprised if he wages war on your country several years after you have purchased weapons.
