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Fire! Aaaah! Fire!!
Publisher Your Mother
First appearance Unknown
Created by God
Real name no one knows...
Status Burning
Affiliations Guild of Calamitous Intent
Previous affiliations Oprah
Notable aliases None
Notable enemies Victoria Secret
Notable powers Fire! and the ability to control the minds of men!

Torrid is (ironically) the name of a woman's underwear store. Also, it seems Torrid has the power of burning panties at his control! What now?


Torrid is one of the lesser members of the Guild of Calamitous Intent. Torrid has been known to cause fire and make it out of nothing. Not much else is truly known of Torrid other than he's the arch enemy of the Order of the Triad.

General Info[edit]

Torrid is the sole starter of the underground top secret movement FPFWGHA (Fat is Phat as in Fat Women Got Hot Ass! .) they renound themselves for selling magical panties that show the real beauty of the Fat Ones, known as the Elite Ones. thus, when men see women in Torrid panties, they see David Bowie and thus want to screw the object that looks like Bowie; yes, Torrid is the reason the Elite Ones get laid When Oprah was affiliated with Torrid, she was generally excepted as the winner of every David Bowie-look-alike contest. Ever.

The Guild of Calamitous Intent Main Members
Sovereign: Supreme Commander Second in Command: Phantom Limb
Dr. Girlfriend: The Sluttiest of them All! Baron of his Own Kingdom: Baron √únderbheit
The Monarch: Strange skinny man Underlings: Watch and Ward
The Guild of Calamitous Intent Minor Members
Torrid: Burner of things Underlings: Guild Operative
Iggy Pop: The rocker! The weird guy: The One Most Corrupted