Torte

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Sachertorte at the Mirabellplatz - wunderbar”

torte, n. rich pastry cake

...Or is it? Debate currently shrouds all attempts to define torte.

Traditionally, a pie contatining meat is called "tortiere" (French-Canadian, meaning "more-torte-like"), while a pie containing meat and vegetables and gravy is called "meat pie." Logically, however, the former should instead be called "meat pie" and the latter "meat and vegetables and gravy pie." Nevertheless, conventional wisdom holds that a pie cannot be considered "meat" unless it contains vegetables and gravy, otherwise it is "torte".

Following this logic, meatloaf prepared traditionally, as an unappetizing slab of ground mystery meat (I am, of course, referring to the rock star, not the delicious meal your grandmother prepares from whatever spare animal parts she happens to find lying about the kitchen) should instead be called torteloaf, as it contains neither vegetables nor gravy. Many other common words and prases require similar amendment, including: spaghetti and torteballs, tortekey, torte-illas, and Peanut Skittles.

To confuse matters further, I'm told "torte" is also some kind of crazy legal term. Fucking lawyers.