Tree of the Basic Knowledge

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The Tree of Basic Knowledge is a literal, physical plant from which Adam and Eve ate, thereby forcing God to reduce the speed of light and curse all of humanity for all time. Although God was very clear in telling Adam not to eat from it, Eve (being a stupid woman) was easily deceived by the serpent. Since serpents can't actually talk, it is clear that the snake (but not the Tree) is a metaphor for Satan. [1]

Adam and Eve then started giving God some serious lip, thereby forcing God to righteously and justly curse all of humanity with death. The logic of this statement is obvious to any good Fundamentalist.

This nonsense-related stub is a stub. The submitter may also be in collusion with Satanists. You can help Uncyclopedia return to Jesus by book-burning this stub.

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