Trollop
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“I like my trollop with vegimite”
~ Oscar Wilde on Trollop
A delicious North of England dish, often served tepid, this culinary masterpiece is notable for its methane-inducing properties.
Traditionally consumed on Saint Vorderman's Day, below is a typical recipe:
Ingredients
4 servings
- One Pound (873 grams) lard
- Two Pounds (127 grams) devilled knucklebones
- One cup (9.5 thimbles) of Belgian phlegm (can use vegetarian phlegm substitute)
- 6 fluid fingers (12 toe-fulls) of unfiltered canal scrapings
- One rasher of pony
- Three flutes (about half a leper) of onion juice
Cooking Directions
- Graddle the lard in a cast iron fladger, making sure to loosen any seepage.
- After 5 minutes, twizzle vigorously with any small domesticated pet.
- In a separate twanking file, mash the pony rasher in the canal scrapings, but ensure the consistency is barely rank.
- Mix the remaining ingredients (except one) in a pile, and admire.
- Leave overnight (remember to open all windows, and avoid using a mobile phone).
- Finally, combine all the ingredients in a sporking vessel, and top with melted The Lord of the Rings collectibles.
- Bake, rattle, and roll for 17 mins at Gas mark 6 (247 nanoDegrees).
- Serve out of a traditional pole dancer's spandex thong. If thong is not available, trollop may also be served in a elderly woman's sweaty panties.
[edit] Fun Fact:
Historians have recently discovered that the aroma of cooked Trollop was used as a torture implement in the Wars of the Roses.
