Tron

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Tron is an accomplished peanut butter salesman

Tron is a medium-class diplomatic space vessel, currently on a mission of solidifying its position on Earth as Nebraska's greatest peanut butter salesman. It is most famous for winning best of show at The Fourth Tri-annual Underground World Scrabble Tournament of 1955. Tron is also noteworthy for its groundbreaking invention of electronics. Tron starred in a movie of the same name, which was based on the game Armagetron. He and his brother Triz are classified as the two smartest and most highly developed robots in the universe.


History[edit]

Tron was born in AD 2101 in the Haley's Nebula and promptly abandoned by its parents, mother Joan of Arc and fathers Deep Space 14 (take 3) and Paul Reiser. It regularly got beat up by the bigger kids during its teenage years until being salvaged by a Kenyan military ship in the year 2127. Its young adulthood was comprised mostly of performing crop field labor under an excellent worker benefits plan known as slavery.

It moved to Massachusetts in 1492 to pursue a career in venture capital, mostly in the field of horseless carriages. In 1863, on a business trip across the United States' eastern seaboard, its rampant alcoholism annoyed almost everyone, and the villagers declared it a werewolf, proceeding to lynch and bury it 5 feet under West Virginia.

Teddy Roosevelt utilized the art of Fine Magicks to reincarnate Tron, tapping it to be his ambassador to Argentina. Tron refused the offer, choosing instead to immediately run for city councilman of Cleveland, OH. It lost, receiving only two votes.

Little is known about Tron from then until August 27, 1955, when it stormed onto the scene out of nowhere and won best of show in The Fourth Tri-annual Underground World Scrabble Tournament of 1955, defeating a field rumored to be as large as up to 31 players. The final move, against reigning champion JFK, was Tron capturing his opponent's flag with a miner (8), scoring a triple word score. In its celebration, Tron accidentally stumbled into a reverse time warp, which transported Tron back to its original position, leaving it in a state of permanent psychosis.

Present[edit]

Currently, Tron believes it is eternally trapped in the year 1981, where it strives to be renowned as Nebraska's greatest peanut butter salesman every day each year, except for March 30, when it attempts to intervene in the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan. Tron is said to spend what little spare time it has studying the works of The Misfits.


Elementary Particles
Proton - Muon - Bozo - Graviton - Gluon - Quark - Electron - Photon - Moron - Neutrino - Gayon - Darkon - Unobtainium - Unununium - Ballmiton - Crouton - Tachyon - Tron - Badger - Sauron - Roricon - Spork - Hardon - Onion - Galvatron