True Meaning of Pie
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 One or more of the authors of this entry was terribly bored.
They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit... hey, we should go fly kites. That'd be so awesome! We haven't flown kites, since, like, summer. Hey, summer is when birds come out! Birds are so cool. |
Pie. For centuries, man has wondered about the true meaning of the word pie. Most, when asked, responded "meh". But a few good men of science knew there had to be an answer, and that answer would revolutionize the world. This topic discusses the many theories of the true meaning of pie, not simply as a food, but as the ultimate answer to everything.
Contents |
[edit] P
To first comprehend the great mystery of pie, we must look at the letters of the word. The letter "P" is the first of 3 letters that make up pie. Prounounced phonetically, it sounds like the word "pee", which implies urine. Perhaps this could imply that the meaning of the remaining letters portrays something of low quality. Or it could be related to urine, possibly causing a complex chemical reaction when it comes in contact with it, or being similar in molecular formation to it. The letter "P" is also the 16th letter of the alphabet. 16 would appear to state the quantity, implying 16 "i"s or "e"s or perhaps "ie"s. Or it could be a verb, instructing someone to perform an action 16 times, or wait until the 16th occurence of an event. Alternatively, it could be part of a larger segment of the word, such as "Pi". "P" can be capitalized or not capitalized, and therefore we cannot assume anything based on capitalization.
[edit] I
The letter "I" is perhaps the most notable of the 3 letters which make up the spelling of pie. When first examined, I appears to imply a person reffering to themselves. This could be part of a first-person story, probably explaining an important historical event, or perhaps instructions relating to an action of the writer, which could be past, present, or future. "I" is also the ninth letter of the alphabet, which is coincidentally 1 more than half of 16, the letter "P"'s place in the alphabet. It is possible it means "from nine to sixteen", however given the arrangements of the letters this is unlikely, unless the meaning was "from 16 B.C. to 9 B.C." or "from 16 B.C. to 9 A.D.". It is notable that the "I" in pie is lowercase, which would imply that it does not refer to a person. It could imply an apple product, such as the iPod.
[edit] E
"E" is perhaps the simplest of the three letters. Being last, it can be assumed that it is not an adjective. It could be used as expression of awe, such as "Eeeeeeee". Or could be similar to the greek letter Epsilon or the more well-known letter Sigma. However given that the "E" in pie, much like the "I", is not capitalized, it appears to be unlikely (as only the capital letter "E" resembles these two characters). E is also the 5th letter of the alphabet. This could be used in conjunction with the number 9, or with the numbers 16 and 9. It could be a date, possibly 9-16-08, however the modern calendar was not invented by the time "pie" was first used in the english language, which makes this theory unlikely. Or it could be an mathematical formula, most likely addition, implying 16+9+5=30, or perhaps 9+5=14. If we change this into multiplication, we get 720 and 45, respectively.
[edit] Pi
Pi is the most frequently refferenced part of pie. It refers to the well-known mathematical number that represents the ratio of a circle's circumference to it's diameter. It is an infinitely long number, or 3.141592653 etc. Obviously, this could imply a circle. This could be a circle symbol, a circular map (ie. the earth before it was discovered to be sphereical), an implied circle surrounding an area, or maybe even a crop circle. It could also imply a sphere, such as the globe, or perhaps the moon, the sun, or a different planet. Or it could simply refer to 3, in which case the corresponding mathematical equations mentioned above would have to be changed.
[edit] Ie
Ie is a common latin term meaning "id est", translated roughly into english, it's meaning is "that is; in other words". It is frequently used in the same context as "Ex.", or "for example". This would mean "(Meaning of P), for example." This could be used to imply that the meaning of P fits into a category, such as P being "banana" and fitting into "fruit" as well as "food". Alternatively it could mean internet explorer, perhaps as a prophecy telling of the invention of the internet. Internet explorer is, however, a small part of the internet in between the beginning and the future. It is possible that it is not refferring to the program internet explorer at all, but rather one who explores the internet, and could even find the answers there. Perhaps it is a self-fullfilling prophecy, leading the reader to this page. How strange that they would choose to place it on Uncyclopedia.
[edit] Pi-E
Pi-E is a theory similar (and often used in combination with) the theory of Pi (see above). Pi-E can imply two things. The first is that the E means 5. This could mean pi to the 5th power (15.707963265 etc.), or the fifth pi, the fifth mathematical theorem of pi or perhaps a number relating to pi. Second, it could stand for something, such as Pi-Extreme or Pi-Equation. Pi-E is one of the greatest mysteries of pie.
[edit] P-Ie
Most of P-Ie has been explained in the Ie section. P-Ie can refer to "(P), for example", implying a category which "P" (or the meaning of "P") fits into. It could also mean P-Internet explorer. Perhaps this means Proto-Internet explorer, referring to the invention of the internet, or professional internet explorer, reffering to one who explores the internet in a professional manner.
[edit] Pie
And finally, we come to the simplest answer of all. Pie. The true meaning of pie could be simply that: pie. It is possible that it is instructing us to eat pie, because maybe it is actually a very healthy food. Or it could be in place to doom us all for consuming too much pie. Alternatively, it could be telling us that pie is the answer to life, the universe, and everything (previously thought to be 42). Or maybe it was all just a big joke put in place by a person who likes pie. Most professionals agree that it is not a joke, and claim that there is a much deeper meaning.
[edit] Conclusion
It is evident that pie has a deep meaning, possibly even one incomprehensible to human beings. But whatever it's meaning, we must continue searching, for a better tomorrow for us all (but mainly as a waste of the taxpayer's money). Congratulations, you just finished reading the scientific proof that you are bored. And we're all bored. In conclusion, meh. Here, have an image.
