Turjuan

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Turjuan
Turjuan
Turjuan
Turjuanlippu.GIF No coat >:(
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Let Freedom rise."
Anthem: "Pro Turjuan"
Capital Turjuan
Largest city Turjuan
Official language(s) Turjuan, Finnish
Government Ineffective
National Hero(es) Forgotten
Established March 12, 1998, disestablished March 17, 2009
Currency Turjuan's mark
Religion Unknown
Population Glaciers and volcanos
Area In Iceland
National animal Turtle dove

Turjuan was a small country that existed in the middle of Iceland from 1998 to 2009. It was declared to be independent on March 12, 1998. Since there used to be only one TV channel and one radio station in the whole country, the rest of the world always knew very little about Turjuan.

What we do know is that throughout its period of existence Turjuan was fighting against the secret army of Iceland, although the Icelandic government never admitted it. Since the government found it extremely embarrassing that the brave troops of Iceland lost some battles to Turjuan, they even claimed that Iceland had no army at all. Surprisingly many people still buy this story even if Iceland is a member of NATO. The people of Iceland didn't really like the fact that some kind of a questionable and strange country appeared inside their homeland's borders. Times were good for hypnotherapists; Icelandic people were willing to pay a lot for the pleasure to forget everything about their unwanted neighbour Turjuan. So if you ever travel to Iceland and ask someone something about Turjuan, he probably answers: "What the box? Turjuan? Is it a delicious thing?"

The capital of Turjuan was also called Turjuan. In fact, these two areas were pretty much the same. The country's currency was Turjuan's mark. In July 2006, one Turjuan's mark was 0.0000084 euros. Thus, if one wanted to buy something in cash in Turjuan, it was recommended to get a lorry first to transport the money.

The citizens of Turjuan exercised a lot because there was usually nothing else to do. Neither newspapers nor magazines could ever be published in Turjuan due to the lack of wood and paper, so people had basically nothing to read. In 2005, though, one Christmas card was sent to Turjuan! People all over the teeny-weeny country gathered to read it and started an annual tradition which lasted amazingly long. Three years, to be precise. It's a long time in a country that only existed for 11 years.

Watching TV was quite unpopular in Turjuan. TursoTV, the only channel they ever had, was a project of one man. That is to say, the quality of the programs shouldn't be difficult to guess. Who wants to see, for instance, a quiz whose only competitor is also the host of the show! Summa summarum: the culture of Turjuan was poor. The only modern detail to mention is that the country had considerably fast Internet connections and Turjuan was one of the first states with an official web site, in addition to Vatican City and North Korea. The site was online from November 2004 to March 2009.

There were two official languages in Turjuan: Turjuan and Finnish. Why on Earth Finnish? And why did they have turtle dove – a bird that never lived in Turjuan – as their national animal? Nobody knows. Nobody cares.

On March 17, 2009 – shortly after Turjuan's Independence Day – the Icelandic troops managed to crush the Turjuanian resistance and conquer Turjuan. It was inevitable.