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“Is it that place between twat and shitter?”
~ Paris Hilton on Twitter
“It's like a dream come true.”
~ Stalker on Twitter
“Nobody cares!”
~ You on Twitter
“In Soviet Russia, website tries to inflate its insignificant existence with one-line posts on YOU!”
~ Russian Reversal on Twitter
“In Belgian exile writin my capital”
~ Marx on Twitter
“Chillin' my fav twelve eatinnn bread and boozinnnnn up, catch me in Calvary tomorrow, BIG crucifixion going down”
~ Jesus on Twitter
“just got to elba.. man these people are nice!”
~ Napoleon on Twitter
“just dropped the fatman or w.e those japanese guys are fuuuucked”
~ Pilot of the Enola-Gay on Twitter
“valley forge for the nite OMG its coldd here”
~ Washington on Twitter
“Enough of these anachronisms!”
~ Oscar Wilde on these anachronisms!
Twitter is an internet product, created by a former school principal who got-off on reading teenaged girls status and moods on Myspace on his lap-top computer in the break room while no-one was around. Twitter, which disperses information in very small text packets known as tweets, has a large fan-base of "twits". It may be the saddest thing since bereavement, but there are literally thousands of people keeping their friends up to date with their every bowel movement. Twitter's slogan is "so simple, even Oprah can use it!"
[edit] Creation
Trying to find next version of blogging
-43 days ago
Tried making way to send individual people personalized blogs-- turns out it's called e-mail and nobody uses it anymore
-42 days ago
Asked forum for ideas... going to try blogs put on physical mediums.
-41 days ago
Physical mediums already done called "mail." like e-mail, but no e. Anyone have ideas?
-40 days ago
Have to poop.
-39 days ago
pooped.
-20 days ago
Can't think of ideas. Hernando keeps bugging me about the oven.
-19 days ago
@StMarysPsychWard: Hernando is so real, stop saying he's not, it makes him angry
-18 days ago
Idea: worst thing about blogs is they come in big chunks. What if I want smooth creamy blogging?
-15 days ago
The tentacles are starting to bother Hernando and me.
-14 days ago
Attempt one at creamy blogging failed. Warning: do not butter your Ethernet port.
-13 days ago
The oracle is visiting!
-12 days ago
The oracle says I should break the blog into pieces to make it creamy. She also says we are all damned to the halls of a thousand eyes.
-12 days ago
I busted my head open when I stepped on the rake. Came up and smacked me with a vengeance.
-11 days ago
Went to the doctor, apparently my Cerebellum fell into my Appendix, which is hanging half-way out of my butt-hole.
-10 days ago
Monitor broken trying to break up blog. crackercrackercrackercracker *zot*
-9 days ago
The relations between blogs and sine waves are FishCracker-sponential.
-8 days ago
Found a collection of hypodermic needles wrapped together with a rubber band inside of a Coke Zero Bottle on the side of the street.
-7 days ago
DO NOT EVER STAB YOURSELF IN THE BUTT-HOLE WITH 17 HYPODERMIC NEEDLES AT ONCE!!! BLOOD IS SPRAYING OUT OF MY BUTT-HOLE LIKE A SPRINKLER!!! D:
-7 days ago
Went back to the doctor for the needle accident. He says I should be fine. But he wants to show me off as a subject for his medical cure at a convention; have to go there wearing adult diapers and pull them down for the doctors to see the actual subject. If I do that for him he said he'll take me to Sonic on the way home to get a foot-long coney, then back to his place for the night.
-7 days ago
I enjoyed Dr. Mamba's foot-long coney. In fact, to tell the truth, Hernando isn't the only one I call "STUDLEY"! After toasting my bunz he said he spotted a small clique of hobos living in a fold of my anus, says they have a bonfire going on in there. And I missed a few days of tweeting.
-4 days ago
Went to an Iron Maiden concert. There were so many sex-rings there. When I watched concert coverage on the news from earlier, all the sex-rings put together looked like the Olympic Rings. Oh, and most of my family just died in a plane crash to our family's 69th Family Reunion. Woop!
-2 days ago
I just twoted all over Twitter! Now I gotta clean the mess up.
-1 day ago
Hello, I'm currently on Twitter AND this website!
-Now
