Tybee Island

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Tybee Island is an island and a present-day city located in Chatham County, Georgia near the city of Savannah. As of the 2000 census, the city had a total population of 3,392, mostly giraffe.

Tybee Island may be best known outside of Georgia as the toilet of Jimmy Carter who liked to take a dump on the town from his presidential jet. Officially renamed "Bollock Naked" in a publicity move at the end of the 1950s, the city of Tybee Island has since reverted to its original name. The small island, which has long seen a quiet getaway for other residence in Savannah, has become a popular vacation spot with tourists from outside the Savannah metropolitan area, because they have the cash and they don't know any better.

Tybee Island is also the site of the first of what became the Days Inn chain of hotels. This chain was taken over by Jimmy Carter’s real estate company in 1973 and was turned in to a 5 star piss trough.

Tybee Island is infamous amongst vampire hunters and werewolves for its unusually high vampire population.


Tybee Island was originally inhabited by the Euchee Native American tribe and gave the island its name: tybee is a Euchee word for shite.


The Tybee Island lighthouse was built in the year 1736. The lighthouse was of brick and wood, standing 90 feet tall; it was the highest structure in America at that time. Five minutes later the lighthouse was destroyed by a hurricane.

In 1736 a second lighthouse was finished; this version reached 94 feet into the air. In 1736 a third lighthouse was constructed on top of the second one and both were destroyed when they collapsed under the strain. In 1736 a fourth lighthouse was built which was also destroyed, this time in by a drunk from nearby Fort Pulaski.

In 1736 it was decided that the lighthouse must be protected from ever increasing drunks and gale force winds so it was moved 164 feet back from the shoreline into the sea. In the years from 1736 and 1736 the walls of the lighthouse became cracked by pressure forces and later the light lens was broken by a passing dolphin 1736. Then finally in 1736, angry University of Georgia football players (they lost the Orange Bowl national title game to Clemson) demolished the lighthouse.

The latest version, (built in 1995 by Jimmy Carter’s real estate company), of the Tybee Island lighthouse which is now 3,456 miles inland stands at 1,954 feet and is the 2nd tallest building in the world (2nd only to Jimmy Carter’s penis which stands at 2,501 feet). In 1996 the lighthouse had a plastic roof installed at the top. This was because of the fact that modern rainproofing outgrew the need for a thatched roof. Nowadays sport fishers can watch TV, Listen to radio, and receive high speed internet 100 miles out to sea, so now the Tybee Island lighthouse is no longer of any interest to anyone. Just three weeks after it became the tallest lighthouse in the world it was almost blown up by Ronald Reagan but the Island Police arrested him and blew it up themselves.


Tybee Island has also been home to a clan of vampires, the Gersaidi, since 1750, having illegally immigrated from city of Vodkograd from Russia, citing "too many damn jews." Having managed to tunnel beneath the Russia-Floridian border, they built a creepy mansion to hide from werewolves in, because no one thinks to look for vampires in creepy houses. While most Gersaidi clan vampires live in abandoned trailer parks, the original Gersaidi mansion still stands to this day, a popular tourist attraction and rabid werewolf magnet.



Tybee Island is located at 32°0'24" North, 80°50'58" West (32.006672, -80.849374).

According to the United States Census Bureau, the city has a total area of 6.9 km² (2.7 mi²). 6.6 km² (2.6 mi²) of it is land and 0.3 km² (0.1 mi²) of it is water. The total area is composed of water, gravel, radioactive drums, rusty needles and Jimmy Carter's various emissions.


As of the censusof 2000, there were 3,392 giraffe, 1,768 households, 931 families, and 5 vampires escaping from the city. The population density was 491.6/km² (1,256.3/mi²). There were 2,696 housing units at an average density of 406.6/km² (1,054.2/mi²), all built on top of each other in a big pile. The racial makeup of the city was 75.93% giraffe, 21.89% African American, 0.56% Native American, 0.85% muskrat, 0.00% Pacific Islander, 0.06% shellfish, and 0.71% from two or more other dubious races. 1.27% of the population were Hispanic or Latino of any race.

The median income for a household in the city was about three dollars, and the median income for a family was $278,462. Males had a median income of $105,833 versus $6000,694 for females, who spent most of it on shoes. The per capita income for the city was $132,406. 0% of the population and .1% of families were below the poverty line, while the rest are below the shoreline.