Typhoon

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Typhoons are Asian hurricanes, occurring in the Northwest Pacific, mostly in areas bombed by the Japanese in World War 2. Like hurricanes, Typhoons have been known to show signs of sentience. Being Asian, they tend to have communist tendencies. Typhoons can be distinguished from hurricanes because hurricanes tend to have well-rounded eyes, whereas typhoons tend to have elliptical "beady" or "squinty" eyes. Typhoons are highly xenophobic, and have been known to sink American warships for trespassing on Asian soil.

Typhoons are generally regarded as more powerful than hurricanes, but they do not get as much publicity, because nobody cares what happens to Japan, and because Americans are wimps who cry every time a gust of wind knocks down a tree. In 1960, a new competition was added to the Olympics to see who could bring forth the biggest and baddest tropical storms. Most of the gold medals have won by typhoons, like the famous Typhoon Tip, who set the world's record for being the fattest and strongest typhoon evah. He also won "barometer limbo", in which tropical cyclones compete to see who can achieve the lowest atmospheric pressure at their center.