Uncyclopedia is not my job. I am not paid. I am in no way obligated to be here or to do anything here.
You will treat me with respect because I am not paid to put up with you. If you are a dick, I will ban you. I do not need to tolerate disruptive users.
If I do not want to do something, I do not have to. Do not take this out on me or I will ban you.
I do not care how many hilarious articles you have written and contributed. If you are being mean and disruptive, you will be banned. No writer is worth it.
I do not need to accept your terms because there is no need for you here. Everything is voluntary. Anyone may walk away from this. If you are unhappy, leave. Do not piss at me.
No user is above any administrator. I am just putting in more time dealing with unpleasant things. Do not take me for a self-important lazy individual. I have more power than you do, and it is not as fun as it seems. Make it more unpleasant and I will ban you.
I am not required to care. Sorry.
Uncyclopedia is not my job.